This is going ok because I have a few goals that all tie together – not only do I want to lose weight and get healthy but we desperately need to stop spending and start saving money. I have really wanted to go out and have dinner and buy wine but because I have the save money goal in mind, I haven’t done that, and in turn its helping me to lose weight.
I have been going to the gym occasionally but also need to start walking our puppy – if I also do that everyday I should see some big improvements.
My best friend has just lost 3 kilos doing the Dukan diet – protein only. She has done the same thing on Body trim, is also simultaneously signed up to Weight Watchers and just got rid of her tread mill. This is not a judgement or criticism of her but a warning to myself. I keep thinking – how good would I feel if I dropped 3 kilos fast- it is so tempting. But like her, I have done the same over and over and over again. I’m sick of being a failure, I’m sick of feeling crap about myself so I’m going to put her out of my mind and keep on keeping on.
When I get home from work today I’m going to walk the puppy – even though its freezing cold. He will be better behaved and I get some exercise. And tomorrow my hubby and I are going to jump on our bikes and ride while the weather is still sunny. I want this. I want health. I want happiness. I want a normal relationship with food and with myself. And this year I’m going to finally get there.
I have just started this new part time job and found out on my first day that as part of the benefits is a fully paid gym membership. I am so excited and went for my first time yesterday. It was really great even though I am quite self concious with all of the super fit people around me, but this is about me and not them.
I am trying to eat healthy and conciously and not eat as if I’m on a diet. When I do that, I get all of the guilt and shame and then I eat and eat and eat. I then plan to diet and in preparation of that I eat and eat and eat. It is such a vicious cycle and makes my poor brain hurt! so no more. I ate pasta last night. And salad. and sparkling water with lemon. I didn’t feel guilty about the pasta but was mindful about what I added, used wholemeal pasta and didn’t eat loads. That was a good thing.
So I will see how I go. It is so tempting to go back on the diet pills, to use shakes exclusively, to starve myself cause I know I will get quick results. But I also know that I can’t maintain that sort of lifestyle so want to give myself a fresh start.
Wish me luck!!