be organized

I bought 2 planners… one for the week, instead of a calendar, and the other one is for the daily stuff…doesnt help.
I guess disorganisation is in my blood or soething…
I really started thinking Im just wasting my time, trying to cure myself from diorganisation.yes, I do suffer that I dont really make time to buy a table for gods sake… but then…
I wouldnt be what I am, if not that chaotic soul…
I love chaotic…
I think firstly, I really do need to state the main goal.. do the problem analisys…
why on earth, would I want to be orgnized…??
... hmm..Because I spend my time very inadequately..
hmm, i guess, there is a reason to get organized…
But I think I just have to take it a little bit easier for me..
plan stuff tomorrow morning… yepp..

on weekends, i feel in control…on weekdays, it feels like times trying to slip out, like sand from my fist.
I never get anything done on weekdays, and always put it on weekends, then my weekends become so busy, so I dont do AANYthing… and later I freak out, when nothing’s done..
I cant buy a freaking table for my room, for like ages…I have all my stuff on the floor.
people think Im a freak.
and I hate when everyone tries to point out how irresponsible and unorganized I am…GOD, it drives me crazy, I want to kill the person, who tries to do that..I know I am..no need to remind me that..
god…why they cant notice that im TRYING

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Organized

seems like the whole world now looks grey, I cant think of oranisation right now…
After all, I wanted to be organized not only in my room, not only in my papers, but in my thoughts and life, and now,
I think theres not much going on, after he left.
I feel like things went to their places.
Now I at least know what to do..

GOd, Im so unorganized, I cant even stick to what I organized.
I havent done ANYthing…from the list… I dont know why, but things just keep going different from how I imagine…
=( Things I really really really wanna do seem so much more important…I cant keep track of my time, even though I really want to…I had to help my sister, then talk to a friend, then drink some tea with my mom..GOD!
I havent done anything…

i am going to start organizing my life from first things.
okay, firstly, im going to try putting together my study-stuff.
figure out what to study first, then what books to read to get prepared for seminars, then organize all papers, relating to studies.
this is what Im gonna do tomorrow.