I inherited an unbelievably stiff frame from my father. I can’t touch my toes. I can barely touch my shins. The customs officials have to let me stand during body cavity searches.
When I was active in sports I was pretty flexible, but that was long ago, and now I am a talking piece of shriveled beef jerky—incidentally, a front-runner as Pocahontas’s sidekick, but there were some political struggles at Disney and it never made it off the drawing board.
