deal with my anxiety

There’s so much that I don’t understand about my job. I don’t want to say the wrong thing – it may have bad consequences. At the same time, of course, not saying anything at all has consequences too.

It has been pointed out to me that it is grandiose of me to think that Everything Depends On Me. (in work, and in other interpersonal situations too.) I should probably keep that in mind.

... after a discussion i had with someone today: one of the keys is, to work through the anxiety. acknowledge it, not try to wish it away, but nor should i let it wipe me out from what i’m trying to do.

OK. I anticipate more stressful things happening today. Stressful, that is, for someone like me who’s not used to them, who avoids them. Things like talking to people! Making decisions! Getting feedback!

I need to find one way or another to stay productive through the inevitable spikes of anxiety. I took an Anxiety Recovery class that taught me some techniques. I will do my best to put those techniques to work today.

My heart was pounding after this phone interview that I had today.

It’s important that I learn to recover quickly from these things. That I learn to tolerate the anxiety that occurs in their wake. Not to make the anxiety go away but to work through it.

Famous last words. I overreacted to something this afternoon too. I can’t say that I learned much from the experience or that it will help me to deal with it the next time. sigh

So I’m taking an Anxiety Recovery Class. The teacher pointed out that attacks of anxiety - even panic attacks - are finite, bounded things. As in, they occur, they peak after a period of time, and then they go away. The gut reaction when one of these attacks comes on, is to want to get as far away from the stimulus as possible. What I think I’m being asked to do is, to just sit with the anxiety while it’s happening. Learn to live with it, pay attention to my physical responses, and so forth. In theory, doing so will tend to reduce the magnitude of future attacks.

all that sounds good in theory, but darned if I’m getting it to work right in practice.

sigh I overreacted to a little thing today. Reminder to self: it’ll be ok. Anxiety comes on, peaks, then goes away.