get through my quarter-life crisis

It’s getting a little easier, but not much.
I wonder how long this will last?

I’m turning 18 this September and I’m dreading it.

I’m a bit younger than most people experiencing this but…

I’m graduating high school soon and I’ve decided not to go to college. I’m being critized from anyone and everyone who has somehow heard of my decision, as if it’s there business and they make me feel like I will never amount to anything.

In reality, I don’t know what I’m going to do after finishing my academic career.

I really want to just get married and start having kids right off the bat. But life doesn’t work like that and sometimes I feel I should just become a nun which makes me even more depressed.

I’ve just come to the realization how short life is and, well, I feel as if I’m wasting away right now and by not going to college, I’ll waste away even more years (that’s only if I don’t get married soon).

I feel extremely guilty about deciding, also, not to work out in the business world. There’s no money coming in from my side. (This is because I’ve decided to stay with my parents and help with the housework inside, though.)

I’ve lost the majority of my friends in recent years. In fact, I really don’t have any friends right now, as for the past couple of years, I’ve decided to soley concentrate on my family and academics. Resulting in the loss of nearly all social interactions outside of my family.

Perhaps all this is just the result of the shock of my first real CHANGE in life. I’ve always lived in the same place, had the same friends, done the same things, gone to the same places, etc etc.
Now everything is different and I miss EVERYTHING!

Ah, well.

Maybe one day I’ll just get over it. Life goes on, you know?