Prove them wrong

Not necessarily a major setback. My job was boring-r-us. Menial work I could’ve done out of high school. This gives me the opportunity to go out and find something I truly love.

I quote the words from one of my favourite songs as my new mantra:

“I’ve got the green light, I’ve got a little fight. I’m gonna turn this thing around.”

I’ve had enough of this “why didn’t you apply for the technical job” business.

Tonight I’m emailing one of our major competitors who are hiring like mad. I’ll get a job in a place that appreciates good workers. Screw current job!

It’s a dead end. They hired me right out of an internship 2 years ago and even today still see me as an intern…The other day, someone even googled something for me…

What? I can’t google? I have a freaking investigative journalism award and you think I need things googled for me?

UGH!

To get you up to speed, I’ve been looking for a new job for 6 months…and not just on a casual basis..I’ve been calling and sending out DVDs and emails and getting interviews…but I haven’t been able to find anything yet.

Yesterday my boss said they’re going to be “posting” my and a another coworkers job and that we should apply.

This means our jobs are going to be made permanent instead of temporary and we have to apply for them and have an interview for it. This is normal in the company and I’m fine with it.

But she said that they’re changing my position to be “more technical” and when I asked her what that meant she wouldn’t explain. She does this a lot. Says stuff is going to change but won’t tell you what it is until it happened and you can’t do anything about it anymore. I’m a journalist, not a technical anything even though she has always seemed to think I am because I’m young and know how to use a computer.

To top it off she said they would even change the shift time from 2-10 pm so that I have to cancel all my evening volunteer work and workout class. Needless to say, why should I reapply for my own job when its getting even crappier?

It’s so discouraging to have been looking for a job for so long, and come up with nothing and now having my job description changed to be something I’m not good at nor what I want to do.

Just last year I won a major award for my work but some good its doing for me. I can’t even get a job in my field, now its going to be “technical” whatever that means. Now I feel like a big failure. All I want is happiness but sometimes it seems like happiness is asking for too much.

I don’t know what to do anymore. And then unhelpful people tell me “don’t take it personal.” My happiness is personal. When nobody wants to give me a job that I’m good at or that will make me happy, what does that have to do with taking something “personal?”

And my boyfriend is useless because his solution to everything is “Don’t cry, remember you have love and others don’t.” Well that’s not going to make me happy for all the hours of my day I waste at a crappy job when he’s not around is it?

I don’t know what to do or think or feel anymore.

That someone at work that I look up to doesn’t think I’m good at my job.

But I’m not taking it as hard as I would have since I just won an award for it yesterday!

Anyway, I’ve taken it upon myself to prove her WRONG.

Wish me luck,

I hope we all prove all our naysayers wrong!!!