become better at small-talk

I am not perfect at small talk, but it is worth it.

Small talk is not the art of talking about the weather with people you think are boring. Small talk is the art of talking about the weather (or whatever) with people you don’t know for the purpose of finding out if they are boring or interesting. If they are interesting (to you) the rest of the conversation seems to take care of itself.

If the conversation goes nowhere, it only means that one of you wasn’t all that interested in chatting with the other. It is the most benign form of rejection you can experience. I can say from personal experience that it quickly gets to the point where it is very easy to take.

If the conversation goes somewhere, you now have something interesting to think about, instead of whatever dumb ass thing you would have thought about if you avoided eye contact and stared at the floor again.

I’m an analytical type, so I try to break stuff down into steps. I’ve been paying attention to the “small talk” thing lately. Some things I’ve noticed:

- Wait for the “right time” in the conversation when something going on in your head is relevant to what is being talked about. My problem is often that I don’t give a rats ass about the conversation. The proper response to myself is not to admonish myself for being bad at small talk, but to realize that the conversation is boring and leave.

- It is actually fun to catch up with people on random things. It builds a connection.

That’s it for now. :-)