support my son Matt by loving him unconditionally

Matt’s doing great – we had dinner last night, and he told me about work, school, etc. I opened my mouth and said something I immediately regretted – it sounded so heavy and judgmental. This morning I wrote him a private note of apology.

I picked Matt up yesterday for dinner and shopping for his Christmas presents. Since he works in a mall, we made sure not to go to one, and shopped at dinnertime – I’ve found stores to be less crowded then. Matt commented that the stores would still be very crowded and we would have trouble finding things. I assured him that we would be successful and that the shopping would be easy and pleasant. And it was! We found everything he wanted at one sporting goods store right in Redlands. We teased each other about my optimism and his pessimism. He’s seen the crowds at his store (Macy’s), especially over the past weekend. I’m so glad we had a positive experience!

Matt turns 25 this coming Thursday, and we went out to eat today. It is so wonderful to see him happy and balanced. He is working three shifts per week for Macy’s while taking three college classes. Life is good!

We went to lunch today, and it was wonderful. Matt is positive, and is taking steps to find a job. He is motivated to move back to Redlands. I do love that boy!

Matt moved back out after a day, and is sleeping on a friend’s couch for the time being. I was able to celebrate his birthday with him on Friday, which he seemed to enjoy. He made statements about being homeless and living in his car, which worries me. I can only reassure him that he has a place to stay with me, and that I will come and get him if he needs me. He only wanted money for his birthday, which I hope he will use for food and gas. But that’s up to him. I love him!

Matt moved in today for an undetermined but probably brief period of time. Dad sold the house and is in the process of buying a condo. Matt can then move there, but only if he has a job. One day at a time – I’m glad he took me up on the offer to come here.

I was able to talk to Matt via Skype messaging today, and they are coming home from Argentina on 7/28, which is in two days. We have had irregular contact this last month, but have sent each other love and caring.

I am looking forward to seeing him, hearing some stories, and giving him big hugs!

when my son called. He is leaving for Argentina tomorrow. I cried a little when we hung up, and then took a walk with the dog until I felt better. I know that this trip is something Matt really wants to do, and I support him with all my heart. Have a wonderful adventure, Matt! I will miss you but I will not get stuck in sadness. I rejoice in your opportunities.

Well, we’re past the medical test stage. There does not seem to be follow-up with the doctor, though. But the ex called today with news that Matt and two friends have bought one-way tickets to Buenos Aires, and are leaving on the 24th. I am trying to process this without panicking or freaking out. According to his dad, Matt feels his bipolar episodes were due to his excessive use of marijuana, which he is no longer doing. So he sees no problem with leaving health care providers, parents, etc. I wish I felt so secure.

Meanwhile, Matt’s been avoiding my calls.

My 23 year old son is undergoing a colonoscopy tomorrow to find the source of his bleeding. I am with him in mind and spirit – am letting his dad do the presence duty. May the news be good and the cure be quick. And may this be the beginning of his road to recovery.