be less picky

On the trip to Italy, I tried a bunch of new foods. Tomatoes have stuck. But I learned a lot about trying new foods. I need to lower the stakes a bit. I need to be happy and unworried about new stuff. It helps to have some alcohol before. I dunno if it’s the inhibition drop or the palate opening (or maybe the tastebud dulling me down from near super taster status), but an aperitif helped a lot.

Working on it. Definitely working.

(PS- I tried more new food in two weeks in Italy than I did in the previous 5 years combined. Maybe longer. While it wasn’t all good, it was a big winner in the stuff I could control (trying and being open). And, it moved on the stuff I couldn’t control (liking things) more than I had expected. Tomatoes are good (no, great). Pumpkin is good. Zucchini is pretty good. Artichoke is pretty good too. Truffle is doable. Arugula in small doses. Basil, pesto, not so much.

So, on May 21, I board a plane for 13 days in Italy with my loving wife, looking at art, drinking wine, and eating. There is a part of me that is terrified. Terrified that I will be unable to eat anything but the most basic of dishes. That I will have to hunt for restaurants and will be unable to communicate what I don’t eat.

There is a part of me that is excited. This will be the opportunity to try things. And try them done well. 3000 miles from home and hopefully 3000 miles from my issues with food.

I could come back from this trip eating more things. I could come back from this trip completely defeated and depressed about my inability to beat this. But I want column A. I want normalcy and the options that come with it. I do not want defeat, depression or anxiety.

I am 34 and struggling with a lot of issues around food. Specifically, I do not eat much in the way of vegetables and I eat no fish. This is not a dietary thing. It is a “food vocabulary” thing.

Currently, I “know” the following veggies well enough to eat them:
Green Beans
Asparagus
Corn (not currently eating due to carb content)
Tomatoes (but only when they are mashed up or chopped up)

I also eat the following forms of marine life:
Shrimp
Crab (in crab cakes, and sometimes pre-shelled)
Lobster (had it once. Need to have better)
Salmon (but only smoked, like lox)
Scallops (one bad experience, one good… still learning)

I want to eat more. But I gag. I panic on trying new things. I get sweaty. I get tense. I get nervous. I get afraid. Not of anything in particular. My wife has tried to talk to me about this, and it’s not like I’m afraid that the food is going to hurt me. It’s more primal than that. I suppose I could be afraid of gagging and choking out, but that’s not it. I’m pretty sure.

At any rate, I am looking for help to get over it. I am working on just trying new things in restaurants (that’s where I learned asparagus, shrimp and tomatoes). It’s a grind.