be fearless

I’m still somewhat heartbroken over a past boyfriend and all my efforts to delete him from my mind have been pointless. I did however start dating again and for whatever reason this incredible guy I met enjoys my company. I don’t know him that well but we’re already talking about vacations and christmas presents. My intial response was to “cut and run” as this type of committment is terrifying for me and it seems like we’re in a relationship already. I started getting panicky and felt trapped when we started hanging out all the time. This guy is almost perfect and I’m rolling my eyes when he tells me how much he likes me….WTF! But I’m really trying hard not to be scared. I’m trying to open up. But falling in love is a leap of faith and I’m not sure if I can believe.

Hi…my name is McQueen18 and I’m a fearful little girl, afraid to get her heart broken.

I catch shoplifters for a living. Usually its a very boring job and when you catch someone they come back to the office quietly with their heads hung in shame. But this one guy decided to start fighting my partner. I ran up, dove on top of the guy, went crashing into three glass shelves and wrestled him to the ground. I’m 5’7, 125lbs. He was 5’9”, 230lbs. So now I know that I’m not really afraid of getting physically hurt. Now I want to be fearless from being emotionally hurt which is even scarier then the shoplifter. I also want to be fearless of being judged, failing, and of moths. Yes moths, they’re gross.