get enough sleep

Been feeling so tired lately. Last night I skipped Ryan’s mentoring session (8-10 pm MST) and in snoozeland before 8:30 pm. Woke up just before 4 am. Apparently I set my alarm to get up at 4 pm. Great. Still very tired, but still got over 7 hrs sleep, so yeah me.

Maybe the exercise is making me feel this way and my body is adjusting back to exercise? I’m just ramping up slowly on this. Cannot afford to further overstress my body, but I need some physical way to relieve stress.

Today my goal was to be here by 3 am. I didn’t make it until 3:20 am. I’m so fricken tired. Couldn’t get to bed until 10 pm last night and had to wake at 2 am. Already had my stuff all out and packed, to minimize my up time. I usually do stuff before work, but today would be the exception of just getting up, showering, make my oatmeal, pray over my family and to work I go.

When my alarm went off, I fell back asleep.

Right now it’s not even 4 am and I’m so fricken tired that I don’t know how I’m to last another 6.5 hrs, attend a funeral, then pick up my kids. I’m really wasted.

My body is really needing 7-8 hrs of sleep these days. With not getting hardly any exercise, my body is having to take longer to recover to alleviate stress.

My eating typically is good, unless I’m so tired I don’t want to make anything, then I’ll eat whatever is handy and if there’s nothing or if I’m not in the mood, I skip meals. Yeah, I know—starvation mode which equals increased bodyfat storage.

Right now I’m caught in this crux of both my engineering work, stock work, our video production stuff, kids and marriage. There is no particular order with which I wrote that.

Henry’s definitely been paying more attention to me, but that almost seems like pressure/stress as last night he wanted to talk with me more and maybe share some intimate times. I rarely decline those, but it was nearly 10:30 pm and I needed to be up at 3 am, which I overslept my alarm and only have 15 min. to get ready and out the door.

Tonight I have this conference from 7-10 pm and tomorrow all day from 9 am to 9 pm. Then, on Sunday I will have to play catch up on all the stock stuff I didn’t get done Fri/Sat because of the conference, but I need the conference because of all the head/emotional stuff from my past, particularly father issues, that I need to get abolished once and for all.

Next week, Monday I’ll be at work by 3 am and Tuesday by 4 am. That is just nuts. Today is a long day. Monday I have a funeral to attend of one of my best friend’s father who passed away a couple days ago. Timing for me is not good, but you just deal with it.

Anyway, I’m not feeling so great right now….I need sleep, but even when I do, I have these weird dreams that disturb my sleep or I’m so wired that I cannot stay asleep for longer when I am able to get a little more sleep.

Sat/Sun – Woke up 4 am both days and began working on stock trading stuff. No nap on Saturday. 1.5 hr nap on Sunday.

Went to bed about 10 am and woke up 3:30 am. 5.5 hrs is not enough sleep, but oh well.

Been typically getting to work between 4-5 am each day. Today I got here at 5 am, since I got up at 3:30 am and had some stock stuff to do before getting to work.

My body is not liking the lack of sleep and I’m thinking 7 hrs is good for me, so that 1.5-2.5 hr deficit each night is not doing my body good. My hair seems to be falling out a lot, even though I have gotten off all the psychotropic drugs, so I’m guessing lack of sleep, not enough protein in my diet, high amounts of stress, lack of exercise, and intermittent poor eating are all contributing to this.

So, it seems the past few days of work, I’ve been able to eat a bit better than at home, so that is a plus to coming to work, and my water habits at work are a little better than at home, for now. However, stress is at an all time high and no exercise is NOT GOOD. Neither is not getting sufficient sleep.

I’ll be out of town from Wed-Sat, so hopefully I can get some workouts in and get the blood flowing there, be in a less stressful situation, and get some rest. The nutrition may be lacking, though. We’ll see.

Took a nap from 1:30 pm – 3 pm (1.5 hrs) Wed afternoon

Slept at 9:45 pm – 3 pm (5.25 hrs) – Wed to Thurs morning

Not the ideal way to sleep, but better than nothing.

Sleep is such a cornerstone to our health. I’ve been back to work now and this is my 8th day and the 8th day I’ve not had enough sleep.

My sleep is disturbed by all sorts of things from stomach issues, nightmares, not enough time. It’s really impacting my trading, moods, eating, everything.

So, this is the #1 thing I need to get done. Even during the weekends, I can’t seem to get enough sleep. I’ll be home before 1 pm from work, so I can take a nap before working on stock stuff and before the kids get home.

This sucks.

Though I’ve been sleeping more in the past week, my sleep has been plagued with lots of dreams. So, I periodically also take naps that are lasting in the 1-3 hr range. I awoke at before 3 am and was up from 3-5 am. Supposed to go to the gym, but was chatting with Jerry. Now that his kids are home from college, no school for the youngest one, and my kids are home…we don’t get to chat or talk as much, as we’re both spending time with our families.

We used to talk nearly every day. Next to my husband, he’s my next best male friend. They both are similar but different, so that makes it interesting. When the both agree on something, I know I’m in trouble. When I get Henry, Jerry and Josh agreeing on something, I KNOW I’m wrong.

Okay, I dreamed about Josh last night. He’s single now and I remember talking to him in my dream. He said he was interested in this one girl and I told him I’d ask her if she’d go out with Josh. So, I went and did that. But, on the way, my dad needed help as something happened to him and he needed me to call 911 and get him help.

Also, Jerry was in the dream. That part was a bit erotic. And there was the photographer who did black and whites. I wanted him to take a picture of this windmill. He wouldn’t. I remember Henry or the feeling of Henry in the dream, but I don’t remember seeing him. I felt like I was cheating with Jerry on Henry. Weird. I’m still groggy right now.

Henry and I went to bed about 11:30 pm. I awoke around 4 am and told myself to go back to sleep. I wanted to get at least 6 hrs of sleep. I eventually awoke at 5:45 am. Had all sorts of weird dreams, and the chafing on the top inner of my thighs kept waking me up. Did not get a good night’s sleep.

A goal during my time off is to go to bed at a decent hour and not stay up late, and get enough sleep EACH night. I pray Sean will not wake up in the middle of the night and disturb our sleep.

Yeah, I got 7 hrs. Went to bed at 9 pm, woke up at 4 am. I still feel a little tired. I had this terrible dream that my 2 yr old son ran out into heavy traffic. Fortunately no car hit him. He had so many near misses and it scared me so much. I told him to stop and come to me, but he didn’t. He just kept getting further into traffic. It scared me so much.

That was a bad dream.

I felt very gassy last night. I’m thinking it’s from the colonics yesterday. Hopefully after today’s, I’ll feel much better. I feel very bloated.

Praise God Sean didn’t wake up in the middle of the night.

in lieu of sleeping - I was such a grouch towards Josh during our session. He didn’t let up on me at all, no pity - he didn’t let me pity myself, but encouraged me in a stern way.

I feel a little better with 2 hrs of nap. I have 1 more hour with Ryan (stock trading coach) and going to bed after that.

Sleep deprivation - not sure how I survived all those years. I need more uninterrupted sleep - every night.