I have a general problem with avoidance/procrastination, and this is only one of the specific issues I’ve had. It’s one of the worst, too. Not responding to emails and voicemail messages has caused trouble for me on countless occasions. It’s alienated so many of the people that have come into my life, even good friends.
Part of the problem is that I hate talking on the phone. It scares me to have to speak extemporaneously to people without being able to see their reactions, so often, I don’t answer. As a result, messages pile up, I avoid listening to them (I guess that’s because the next step would be actually calling people back), people get annoyed and mystified wondering why I haven’t responded—and my fears about phone communication become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Email, on the other hand, is a form of communication I like, but for some reason I get stuck in the same cycle of avoidance with it. When I was younger, I even changed email addresses a few times just because I couldn’t face opening up up my inbox and seeing all the unanswered messages.
I don’t abandon my email completely anymore, but I still go through phases of avoiding it. In fact, I’m doing that right now, and it’s worrying me a lot because I’m pretty sure the professors I work with have tried to contact me. I could easily lose my job for being unreachable like this.
I really want to create a new habit, starting tomorrow morning. I’m going to check my email no matter how much it scares me, and if I find out that the professors have had enough of my distantness and don’t want me to work for them anymore, so be it—I know that’s the fate I’ve earned. I’ll take it as a lesson learned and be proud of myself for facing the consequences like a woman… and from then on, here’s what I’m going to do:
-Check my email once a day
-Respond to all emails within 48 hours
-Check my voicemail messages at least once a day
-Return all calls within 24 hours
-Check my text messages at least once a day
-Respond to all texts immediately
I’ll make exceptions to this rule only when on vacation.
I know I’m going to feel a hundred times better when I finally take responsibility and do this right—all that worrying and guilt will be gone. If I can do it consistently for three months I’ll consider a new habit formed (and this goal achieved!).
