finish a marathon

I used to run track when I was in middle school. I wasn’t a very pleasent person back then. Never really happy. Not sure why. But track gave me something to do. Something to focus on. Something positive. Something I could strive to be the best at. And conquer people. Something to make me feel better about myself. Running in circles around the track made me feel free. Although I was restrained by the painted lines, like we are when we’re driving, no one could tell me to do anything. I could’ve just stood there when the signal was given for me to start running. I could have walked the whole time. I could have disqualified myself and let someone else win. But running gave me time to myself. Complete and utter focus on what I wanted to do, win. I won quite often. I was completely exhausted after the fact, but the mere fact the I completed a mile in around 6 minutes. Was a great feeling. I mean, it’s not that significant now. But I held the school record for about a year or so after I left. (record for the girls that is). And it felt great to know that I was the best, even if it was for a limited amount of time. But now. I don’t care about winning. I care about running. It’s like therapy for me. I can think about whatever I want. I can pace myself. It’s just me and the earth. But my knees have limited me. And that’s what I want to overcome. My knees. They’re pretty messed up. They hurt atleast 2 times a week. It sucks. But I think if I complete a marathon, I can get my spirits up and believe in myself, again.