Tryin so hard I have always had a man to ‘take care’ of me and not having it is out of my comfort zone. I am independent that in the sense even when i am in a relationship i like my space literally it is alright for them not to call me i like my life and you yours but i wanted him to have my back for certain things… just to know he was there first plo for 10 years then chris for 3 years i paid him the most resistance yet he did everything for me.. money wasnt an issue.. i have to do this I can be happy on my own… i think not having a father i look to compensate but i know i can do everything by myself i just have to get on my grind and do the damn thing.. i am a strong woman.. i know that much death has visted my doorstep one too many times and i have survived.. would i let a man take care of me again ? hell yes i aint gonna front but i am not looking for that to be so dependent on a man that if he were to ever be gone i couldnt do the damn thang myself. bunk that.. I was so comfortable with my exhusband financially there was NEVER a worry then to leave him and be where i was before chris and then where i am now after his death wow.. a reality check I will never put myself in this position again.. I am my own best friend and keeper and i have to keep myself in check..
I havent dated in a while even though i have had tons of offers.. i just want to chill and work on myself!! i am becoming better…
