be fearless

...add that to the list:
-failure
-horses (they are big and have metal feet and huge teeth!)
-being alone in the woods overnight (mountain lions!)
-authoritarian government
-being judged
-dark water
-my own power
-powerlessness
-marriage
-being emotionally vulnerable-improving
-being hurt or betrayed-improving
-wildcats
-a life half lived

-the dark: can fall asleep in the dark now. I just wait until my eyes adjust and then it’s not really dark anymore; until then I just stay calm and tell myself there’s nothing to be afraid of.
-being judged: I wouldn’t say I have this beat but I am working on it
-being emotionally vulnerable: told my mom some things that hurt to talk about but I think it was good for me, and she needed to hear it.

-horses (they are big and have metal feet and huge teeth!)
-the dark
-being alone in the woods overnight (mountain lions!)
-authoritarian government
-ghosts/spirits
-being judged
-dark water
-my own power
-powerlessness
-marriage
-being emotionally vulnerable
-being hurt or betrayed
-wildcats
-a life half lived

The easiest ones I have plans for:
-horses: I’ve been petting their noses lately and I have an opportunity to ride, so I think I will take that opportunity and try to make friends with these beasties. Everyone else thinks they are so gentle and wonderful…
-wildcats: OK I think this is less of a fear and more a perfectly reasonable “Concern” over them clawing me to death and eating my face. Still, I can take comfort in the fact that they are not super prevalent, in fact I’ve never come into contact with one in the wild. I looked up what you should do if you DO come across one…same general strategy as a bear, look big and don’t run (Yeah right!) And if they attack, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. Maybe knowing what to do will help me feel less fearful when alone in the woods.

Maybe not a complete list, but a list of my fears. Some are easier to tackle than others. I also came up with a new way of dealing with fear. It has to do with my inner voice… instead of convincing myself that my fear is unfounded and what I fear will not come to pass, instead I will tell myself I can handle it if it does.
For example, I was scared the other day of getting lost in the woods by myself. It was getting dark and I was on an unfamiliar trail. And I use the word “trail” loosely here.
Usually I would tell myself “I’m not going to get lost, don’t worry.” But instead this time I decided to say to myself, “I’m strong and I’m brave and I can do this.” That makes me feel stronger than “Don’t worry, it won’t happen” (Which I never fully believe anyhow!)