Improve my posture

I’ve come REALLY far, but I still roll my shoulders.
I know it’s not the case but it FEELS like when i have good, proper posture that I’m trying to, uh, show off my chest. I feel shy/uncomfortable and then I slouch like it’ll magically make my breasts disappear. Retarded. But, I have to address the mental block, admit it to myself, admit it’s stupid and then I can move on. I hope.

My work station SUCKS. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS. I’ve tried everything to get more ergonomic to no avail. It’s so fucking frustrating.

I’ve been slacking, and working those pathetically weak muscles around my midsection helps me stand straighter. And opening the chest. I’m always tense across my chest. Relaxing it even helps me breathe better.

Parts of this goal:
-head up when walking-mostly in this habit, except when I feel cold or vulnerable. (weird)
-shoulders back/open the chest
-don’t hunch shoulders-I’m getting close
-abdominals in, spine elongated
-upper spine NOT curving downward-this is TONS better.
-stopping to stretch at work-DONE

I have such a tendency to roll my shoulders and close up my chest. This is getting better though, and I can actually breathe deeper, which makes me feel more relaxed. I think shoulders back makes up half of the “final stage” of my perfect posture. This plus extending the spine (tightening the core) without lifting the shoulders. It’s amazing, the reduction in pain, the more relaxed feeling, the confidence that comes with walking confidently. I LOVE this goal!
Parts of this goal:
-head up when walking-better now, not quite done.
-shoulders back/open the chest
-don’t hunch shoulders-I’m getting close
-abdominals in, spine elongated
-upper spine NOT curving downward
-stopping to stretch at work

I’m gonna go to a yoga class with a friend. Woo hoo! I think this will help so much. I’m real close to having really good posture.
My work space may need more rearranging. I’ll work on that today.

It sometimes seems like it’s gotten worse of late but it might be because I’m conscious of it more often so I notice when I’m slouching like 1,000 times a day. Or maybe it is worse.

I’ve written before about how I think by slouching I’m hiding. Partly I feel uncomfortable when people are looking at me. I just have to tell myself they are looking at me because I look good, not because they’re judging me. And, hell, if they’re judging me then THEY are the jerks.
Now if only I believed it…

I actually got complimented on my posture this weekend. I was visiting a friend I hadn’t seen in a while and she said my posture was so good it made her feel like she should stand up straighter! I could NOT believe it, I’ve NEVER been someone whose posture is an example to others before. I’m so proud because I have really really been working hard at it and I guess it’s working because someone else noticed. Woo hoo!

No lumbar support, and a big hump at about my shoulder blade level. What’s that for? Grrr. Maybe if I bring a pillow to stuff into the arch of my back.