change my life

I’ve Quit my job, you know that one I’ve hated forever…yeah that one! I finally got the guts to throw the towel in…no i just need to start looking for a new one.

^_ Happy Times.

its going extremely well. I didn’t try and change everything in one go like I’ve done in the past. I’ve paced myself changing one thing at a time.

What I’ve achieved:
-I’m happier
-I’m fitter
-I’m healthier
-I have bags more energy
-I’m doing rather than saying I’ll do (though I still have to work on this)
-I’m content

a big word and when I love someone I never hold back. But I’ve never learnt to love myself to be honest its never crossed my mind but I was watching a video on YouTube by Matthew Hussey about confidence, which before I watched this I believed I had. I didn’t, maybe I had that outer layer of confidence, that surface layer that everyone sees maybe I have that middle layer he mentions. I’ve never had that base layer, I think that’s why people’s words cut so deep sometimes because I’ve never had that base level of confidence. I do now :) I think the word to describe me right at this moment is serene.

Can’t remember the last time I felt serene.

I love Me. :) That sounds egoistic but I don’t care because everybody should knows how amazing it feels to truely love yourself.

Peace and Love Mia. x

I need:

- stick with the changes I make
- to be organised in action as well as on paper
- to be assertive with my loved ones
- get my skin under control
- sort out my h/t

t.b.c

ahhhh sometimes I just want to scream I can’t take it anymore I hate it. I hate it all ! Sometimes I feel just to take what little money I have and just run away from it all uni, my family, my friends, a job I hate so much I’d rather stick pin in my eyes than go back to…go somewhere beautiful and far away where no one knows me. Somewhere I can be free and not to have to worry about how my actions will affect someones feelings or perceptions of me. Somewhere where I don’t need to worry about mind games and power plays. A place where I can be truely me and only that, just that. I haven’t been me in a long time and I lost myself somewhere on that road and I just can’t seem to find myself.

I miss that naive person I used to be that could always see the good in people. I miss the confident person I used to be that didn’t give a f**k what anyone thought of her. I miss that girl. A girl I would be proud to be friends with, a girl I would be proud to call my sister.

I think I’ve finally woken up and I need to find balance in my life…I need to change.

Those that don’t change with me don’t deserve to be in my life, and they don’t deserve to be part of it.

Everytime it gets hard I will look on these words because once the tears have dried I don’t want to forget.