Well, I found out I have a few mental illnesses, including but (likely) not limited to: Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder.
Which pretty much explains everything.. Including the reason I though setting off a petrol engine in my room while putting a wet towel in front of the door and drinking myself into a stupor was a good idea.
Fuck it, I give up on this shit.
Don’t really know what this will solve but hey, whatever! I’ll be moving to another state some time this week. I’m packing up a few things and bussing it out of here (It’s a 10 hour bus ride!). My game boy has since broken, I smashed my computer (using mums laptop) so all I’ll be packing are my xbox (no tv though..), some clothes and a toothbrush and $200…
Guess that’s about as much as I know how to do.. Hopefully thing will go better for me in a bigger city. :)
It’s kind of depressing though, but at the same time it’s a little like “hey, a new city and clean slate!”
And still no life! Lame, I know. I don’t think it’s impossible since I had a life once, just really, really hard. I don’t even know where to begin. Because I’ve been in solitude for so long I’ve noticed some pretty dramatic changes in how I look, feel and think.
At first I thought I was doing OK, but after looking at my self on my webcam I noticed I look “wrong”. I talk to my self pretty frequently now which I guess is kind of weird, and I’ve taken to writing long conversations back and forth with my self which I guess is also pretty weird. Basically, in all this time I’ve spent by my self I’ve become one big weirdo. I guess I have the internet to thank for keeping me semi-sane. (Forums, IRC, blogs, etc)
Don’t really know how I’m going to go about this whole getting a life thing anymore, I’ve been thinking about smashing my computer, game consoles, TV, etc just so I have to force my self to do something else. But last time I didn’t have access to any of those things I just slept the whole time so it seems kind of pointless.
I am fucked.
Still no life… Ugh! I’m sure no one noticed but I disappeared for a little over two months.. I was inside being a hermit again, hibernating would be the best way to describe it.. Haha! Anyways I’m back to doing this goal. I’ve been practicing being social by talking to randoms on Omegle and IRC… Sure, it’s not a life but it’s the best I’m going to do for now. I also took a stab at IMing some old friends – Man was that socially awkward! The real world is still looking a little too frightening right now but I’m working on it!
Wish me luck! :)
So I started this goal… Over a year ago now was it? I can’t even remember anymore. I still don’ have a life and I forgot all about the whole reading/programming thing. Instead I vegged out playing video games for the whole past month. Nothing new there! I’m getting back on this goal and am now attempting to cut back on my beloved video games.. Not sure how I’m going to pull that off but hey…
Yeah.. So I still haven’t made any progress with getting a life. But If it’s worth anything I’ve started doing something semi-productive. Instead of playing video games and messing around with Linux 24:7 I’ve managed to throw programming and reading into the mix as well. I don’t really know how to go about this whole “getting a life” business so I’m pretty much screwed I guess. Maybe I can practice by talking to strangers on Omegle? I really don’t know.
Also… Linux FTW. That is all.
I can’t remember how long ago It was that I set out to get a life. I completely forgot about this goal altogether (and this site). I still don’t have a life but I’m about to write up a “plan” and see If I can get things on track. If I want to get a life it looks like I’m going to have to do some research.
Hell Yeah I did! Was a great party made a lot of new friends and got to know my current friends a little better, just had an all round good time – only problem was it interfered with my other goals – I was so tired the next morning that I didn’t care to eat properly or do my exercise, I didn’t the following day either. Todays the third day after though and I think I’m just about back on schedule! Trying to achieve multiple goals at once is no easy task – if you have time I recommend you try tackling one goal at a time (the Zen habits way). I don’t have the time so I’m going to make sure I succeed at as many as possible all at once, well kinda:D
EDIT: “I don’t have time..” I tried to tackle way too much at once. Looking back on this I think I would have better taking this just a few small steps (or goals) at a time. Not everything at once. Lucky I made this entry, it’s a good lesson and reminder to my self. :)
OK, until recently I had 0% life, seriously, I was just some nerd wasting away in front of my computer I hardy ever saw the light of day. Recently I’ve been going out side more I have a life now but It’s not good enough for me to click the “I’ve done this” button. When I have the girl of my dreams, I’m fit, and I’m doing well I’ll be able to proudly say “I have a life”. Till then, this is one of my most prioritized goals. I’ll succeed.
EDIT: Hahaha! I canb’t believe I wrote “when I have the girl of my dreams” Hahaaha! Feels stupid