...I think it’s really good for me! Today I manicured & painted my nails, made a lovely lunch & caught myself sitting up straight as if my imaginary superhero mom was watching. Yesterday, I made myself a lovely dinner & took good care of myself before going to bed. I think since I finally found the courage to break from my abusive parents several years ago, I’ve been acting sort of like a run away street kid. Totally acting out the punk inside of me. Anything parentlike seemed so wrong! Which was good & fun on some level but not mindful of my future. Not to mention the state of my dental hygiene (eating sweets in bed at night just felt so good and ‘fuck yeah’-ish!). Yet, I’ve been going back and forth from behaving immature but feeling good (as in free, happy, relieved) to behaving mature but feeling bad (as in resentful, angry, frustrated). I think I might have found a way to behave maturely and feel content, loved, loving, deserving & happy).
