stop hurting

Nope. Not yet. Still hurting although the distractions manage to take my mind off of it temporarily. The pain does become duller but it’s still there. It doesn’t go anywhere & after the last blow, it surfaced again & I have to give it time to subside. Again. Become dull. Again.

Since the time the contact with my bf completely stopped, I had more fun in my life, I feel more free. Also, the pain associated with the relationship is fading little by little. I’m in charge now, don’t have to worry about things that I had to worry about before. Feels good.

I’ve been hurting for too long now. So much so that even my body started aching. I’ve lost 20 lbs over a short period of time & it seems like I’ve been in an emotional turmoil forever. The source of pain is gone now (my boyfriend), so on one hand I feel liberated. On the other hand, I still love him & that’s a different pain now, which I have to deal with. It seems like it’s never ending. But I know that at some point I’ll be OK. To be alone is good. I don’t owe anything to anybody, I can do whatever I want with my life now. I will feel very good after a certain period of time. I just need to wait until the pain subsides…