list 43 things about my grandma, so that I'll never forget

She died one year ago today. She slipped into a coma the night before, but hung on for several hours. We were all sitting around her, talking to her, to each other. We held her hands, we cleaned the spit from her lips.

At about noon, we were all laughing about something – actually about my boyfriend – and when the laughter died down, we realized that her breathing had changed. It was ragged, irregular. Moments later she was gone.

I can’t help but think that she waited for us, waited until she knew we would be okay, before she went. She heard us laughing and knew we’d make it through without her. And she was gone.

I miss her every day. But today, especially.

On my 25th birthday, my grandmother gave me a diamond chip necklace – and chip is the word, that diamond is tiny. I was excited, though, because I don’t own a lot of good jewelry, and the only diamonds I’d ever owned were one pair of earrings, also chips. So they matched perfectly. I was happy as can be.

Then Gram told me the story behind the necklace. Evidentally, on her 50th birthday, her 5 kids got together and pooled their money to buy this particular necklace for her. She wanted to pass it on to me, kind of as a reminder of how our family can always pull together for one another.

As happy as I was before, I cried then. I wear it every year around my birthday, but I’ve worn it more over the past year because she died last year right after my birthday. I noticed that I touch the diamond every time I think about her, and for some reason that comforts me.

Every Christmas, my Gram, my aunt, and I would make sugar cookies. Last year, when my Gram was really sick, they wanted to cancel, but I wouldn’t let them. I made them have it, and we had a great time. I took a great picture of her licking the icing off of her fingers.

She passed away in March, so that was the last time we would all make sugar cookies together. And I was so glad that I made them do it.

My Gram started every conversation with “So, whaddya know?” Like she was quizzing you or something. I loved it when I would call her and she’d answer and then I’d say, “Hey Gram, its me!” and she’d reply with “Hey, love, whaddya know?”

My Gram had a beehive. Seriously. We used to joke that her hair survived only due to the massive amounts of hairspray she used. You could bounce quarters off of it.

It was awesome. That’s something I miss.

She wanted me to marry Chris Cooley of the Redskins. She thought he was cute, and referred to him as my boyfriend sometimes. I liked to remind her that there were two problems with this: first, I already have a boyfriend, and second, I don’t know Chris Cooley. She would laugh and laugh about it. She’d call me during games and tell me my boyfriend had scored.

We all called her Gram. This wasn’t just a nickname. It became her name. When I was younger I had a hard time with my R, so I called her Gam, which were also her initials, and on her license plate. For a long time, I thought she had GAM on her plates because that’s what I called her. I was about 8 when I found out that it was also her initials.