learn to love myself

I don’t know how it happened, or exactly when. But somehow all the discomfort and anxiety that came with how my body looks unclothed has disappeared and I can finally comfortably look at myself in the mirror nude without cringing. Instead I simply say “DAMN! I look good!” It feels wonderful to finally feel good about myself and my self image! =)

I’m cleaning out my office so I can take down the wallpaper and repaint the room. I could just move all the stuff to another room and then get on with it, but I’d like to take this opportunity to get organized and get rid of some things that I don’t really need. I was going through CD’s and I found one I thought I had lost when I moved from California back to my parents house. It has all the pictures of my wedding on it. It was a total blast from the past, along with the CD was a playlist of all my favorite music at the time. As I sat listening to the music and going through the pictures, I couldn’t help but smile. I’m such a different person now.

I’ve lost 80+ pounds (I was heavier when I got married then I was when I started my weight loss goal this time), I’ve had my teeth straightened, I’ve learned to do my hair (I was such a tomboy I refused to have my hair done for the wedding HA it was just wash and wear) I’m in the midst of having my teeth whitened, I dress in clothes that fit me now instead of baggy things that I can hide in. I was so insecure about who I was back then. The music, it was his music, not mine. It brings back memories but it was never my music.

I’m so much better at loving myself now then I was then and I’m so proud of myself. I think I found those things now for a reason, to help me see how far I’ve come. We all need that kind of boost sometimes. Maybe I set them aside together subconsciously because I knew I’d need to see it later.

In my journey to love myself I’ve decided I need to stop the negative thinking, and everywhere I turn I’m told to do this through affirmations. I’m going to list my affirmations, they are for me in case I slip up, to look back on them and be reminded.

I forgive myself and others for what we have done.
I am beautiful.
I am a fast learner.
I am a friendly person.
I am easily aware of peoples needs and feelings.
Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul.
I attract only healthy relationships.
I choose to make positive healthy choices for myself.
I choose to exercise regularly.
When I believe in myself, so do others.
I express my needs and feelings.
I am my own unique self – special, creative and wonderful.
All my relationships are loving and harmonious.
I am at peace.
I trust in the process of life.
Life is a joy filled with delightful surprises.
I prosper wherever I turn and I know that I deserve prosperity of all kinds.
I know that I deserve Love and accept it now.
I give out Love and it is returned to me multiplied.
I rejoice in the Love I encounter everyday.
I am strong.

I don’t love myself because I feel that I don’t live up to my own expectations of who I could be. I know I can be better then what I’ve become but because of life happening… well you know. I need to first forgive myself for this, and then move forward and discover who I am.

1.I’ve become happy alone which is a huge step in the
right direction.
2.Forgive people who hurt me, and forgive myself for
allowing it.
3.Get a routine going.
a. Make this a priority.
b. Let the people around me know that my routine is
priority and I will need them to treat me like I
don’t work at home. (ie make plans a day in
advance)
4.Find myself, which is a daunting task.
a. Find a hobby that I love to do.
b. Form my own opinions on major topics (religion,
politics etc)
c. Study Languages and culture to understand other’s
perspectives.
d. Carry my camera with me everywhere.
5. Don’t let others intimidate me.