Find that special someone

Sometimes, you know when things feel right, they just happen. They happen with ease, and you feel like it was meant to be, like you didn’t have to put any effort into it. Similar to how time just runs out when you’re enjoying the moment and want to hold on to it forever. You just know that you’ll get it, it’s yours for the keeping…that you’ve found it.

Then there are the moments when you feel like something wrong is about to happen…and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. A train wreck that can’t be unbroken, a feeling that makes you think ‘what went wrong’, ‘how could I have stopped this’ or ‘why me’. If you’ve felt this before, you realize when it happens. Your heart sticks, your smile fades faster, and

it
just
crashes

I’ve learned that nothing you do will save it. You’re better off walking away and letting the wreckage burn, hoping that you see the warning sign earlier incase you derail again…or just praying that the tracks don’t fail you next time…praying you have the courage to get back on, in the hopes of finding your perfect travel companion and a train that doesn’t crash.

It’s funny how life is a series of random moments woven into a story…and recently my life has been more random than ever. I always wonder if people are sent to us for particular reasons, or if these people are truly random. I’ve met more men randomly than I ever have in my life in this past month. Take for instance, the car dealership…or the parking lot of my workplace. Each time, I’m more surprised at what life has to offer…although each time I’ve been just as disappointed than the last. When do our random meetings end? If we don’t give one of those ‘randoms’ a chance, do we miss our window of opportunity?

I suppose as I get older, I’ve become more particular and less patient…one major strike and you’re out. Which got me asking, why people pair up. It sounds quite selfish to find a partner for the sake of your own comfort and security (or in my case, safety), but I know that love is based on giving the other person what they need…so I wonder if someone will be courageous enough to give me a chance in the hopes of fulfilling their own requirement for love. I also wonder, when is this love supposed to come along?...I thought I had it at one point in my life, only to realize it had fallen apart. Random or not, timing is everything, and whether you’re out of love, about to find love, or in love, you can’t help but wonder why things happen they way they do. If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing, because I know things happened for the best in my life…and if I hadn’t encountered some rocks in my shoes on my path to love, I wouldn’t appreciate the fuzzy slippers that await me.

For all those independent ambitious types like me, we need to find a special someone, not to keep us warm at night, but to save us from our mishaps. When Ikea makes those illustrated instructions (where each item looks identical upon opening up the box), it includes two people in the drawing for a reason. Case in point:

The other day I tried putting together a cabinet and thought I could find a way to avoid the whole 2-person method and create my own way. Mind you, it probably would have worked had the cabinet not been particle-board and had it been fresh out of the box (I already assembled and disassembled it once before – yes, with 2 people…aparently I’m losing fear as I grow older). As I constructed the frame on its side, all was well until I had to tip the cabinet upright. As the cabinet cracked and collapsed, the only thought that ran through my mind was whether someone in the next apartment would hear my scream if I became trapped. Luckily, I was able to avoid that situation and instead ended up with massive bruises on my legs. My lessons? 1) Instructions are included for a reason. 2) Relationships were created to save you from Ikea accidents. 3) I am never assembling anything alone again. Ever.

Ikea, you certainly should consider including another illustration that includes one person using a cell phone to dial 911 while the second person flails their limbs from under the cabinet. I think it would really send the message to people like me who fail to heed your pictoral advice.

Dating sucks. It’s awkward, emotionally draining and tiring. When it’s planned out, it’s not real…and when it is real, it’s usually not the right guy. And don’t even ask me about ‘rules’ because I have a hard enough time remembering what I’m supposed to do in the course of a week. So what gives? How do we make this less weird and more comfortable? I’ve been told when it’s the right guy it feels right…but how do you know what’s right and what’s just nerves? And how do you get rid of expectations? Why does it feel like I’m running a race and I can’t seem to get ahead?

I’ve tried to ignore it, I’ve tried to make it a priority, I’ve tried to let others take over the reins, I’ve tried to be positive, and then negative…I know we all have our own path, but why does mine feel like a maze?? As I sit here listening to the Tragically Hip, I find their lyrics quite fitting: maybe, love is the new maybe.

putting this on here may make it easier to reach my goal…they say if you want to do something, write it down…I really don’t know who “they” are, so hopefully they know what they’re talking about :D