leave

If you catch me day dreaming, I’m probably fantasizing about the day I drive away, or go to the bus terminal and step onto whatever bus leaves first and goes furthest. The north and the east are the 2 directions I can’t wait to go to. Anywhere that way would be great.
There’s a lot of things I have to do when I leave. I have to play chess with a stranger. I have to buy post cards and write them to myself. I have to smile at passer-by’s, I have to visit a bar that features some hypnotizing classic rock. I want to learn the life story of a stranger, and tell me own.
I already know what I’ll be wearing- by pale yellow dress (looks like it came from the 50’s), my hair will be curled, I’ll wear moccasins and aviator sun glasses. And red lip stick.
I guess I’m hungry for the feeling of not knowing. People not knowing me, and me not knowing them. It could be like temporarily starting over?
I think the summer after I turn 18 is when I’ll start, or maybe late summer. Maybe the middle? I’m not sure yet, but whenever I think about leaving, I imagine it happening in the summer. For some reason I’m always listening to Neil Young, too.
God, I’m so desperate to leave. I’ve been stuck in this town for my whole life, where there’s 2 stores, a post office and a fire hall. If you’ve lived here for more than 5 years, everyone knows everything about you. And if you’ve just moved here, they become desperate to find out who you are, where you come from, where your parents come from, WHY you moved here, who your sister-in-law is… the list goes on. It’s quite sad actually. I go for a run and everyone watches like they’ve never seen somebody run before. Maybe When I go for my runs, I should just keep running instead of returning to my starting point. I do run in the east direction…