I suppose at some time or another everyone’s gonna compare themselves to someone else but I have a major issue with comparing myself to my ex best friend.
We used to be so close, we’ve known eachother since we were 4, and this year we just drifted. After we sort of stopped speaking, she spread rumors about me. Even though no one believed them it still hurt. Nowadays I can’t stop comparing myself to her. Every time I see her I think “BITCH!” and I can’t stop eyeing her out, checking if she’s lost weight and if her highlights have grown out and if her boyfriend is as hot as mine etc etc. I try sneak looks at her to see if she looks prettier than me, and I try listen to what she’s saying to check if she still has that dopey voice (she does) and irritating lisp (she does).
If she gained 100kgs overnight would I really feel that happy seeing her fat? If she had no friends and no social life would I really feel triumphant? The answer is yes.
But the victory would be short lived and hollow.
I think for me to stop comparing myself to her would be a great personal victory. That victory would be liberating and (I think) make me a happier person.
I need to keep reminding myself, that in the past 6 months that we haven’t been friends, I have become a completely different person and I am nothing like her, so a comparison would be pointless.