live life instead of simply existing

Instead of taking risks and making new friends I find myself still keeping people at a distance and not letting anyone to get to know me. I turned down my own birthday party… who does that! I need to refocus on this goal and put up some positive messages around me. To let go and be more open.

Hahaha life totally knows when I am bluffing…damn. Well I have joined a running club but totally bailed out this week which was a dub thing to do because I was really enjoying it hopefully I will return to it. There is also this thing at work the Biggest Loser contest who ever loses the most weight. I might join that to have options on exercising.

Yup I have to do this; too often I find myself not wanting to do anything and just sit in my cave (apartment) and exist. I need to be alive and do things that I have made excuses for not doing. I need to motivate myself instead of looking to others to fascinate me or push me.