1. To enjoy every day of your life; and have fun, doing whatever you are doing. Enjoyment means to find the joy in whatever you are engaged in. Joy is not so much found in any particular action as it is created within the person who is performing the act. When you find the joy within you, you bring it with you wherever you go, to whatever activity you do. It is part of you and dwells within you. When you are joyful, it is part of your essence and no one can take it from you.
2. To feel, experience and honor your feelings. Feelings are the outward expression of your innermost reality. Feelings enable you to connect with your authentic self. Feelings are a barometer of your overall well-being. Your feelings indicate how you are in relationship to yourself and others. When you allow your feelings you show that you respect your reality. When you honor your feelings you place your personal experience above saving face or pleasing others.
3. To tell the truth, your truth to the best of your ability. Telling the truth means that you are connected to your own perception of reality. It means that you look deeper than the surface explanation of your circumstances. Telling the truth means that you go beyond appropriateness and decorum and reveal what is sometimes unspeakable. Telling the truth is about being your authentic self and letting others experience it, regardless of their reaction.
4. To look within yourself for your messages, guidance, and direction. Looking within means that you are devoted to the spiritual side of your nature. It means that you will reflect on your options and choices before you act, checking in with your essence. Messages, guidance and direction are always there if you are willing to take the time to listen and notice what they are indicating.
5. To focus on solutions rather than on problems. Your orientation to reality is either to dwell on the problem or on the solution. It is always your choice, however, the problem gives headaches and heartaches and the solution provides a wonderful lightness of being. When you are committed to the solution, it means that you will not allow the problem to bog you down, drag you down, or dampen your spirit. It means that you always know that there is a solution to every problem and you strive to create win-win outcomes.
6. To believe in yourself, to believe in others, and to believe in the impossible. Believing in yourself means that you hold yourself in high esteem. It means that you validate your accomplishments and celebrate your successes. It also means that you would do nothing to hurt, demean, or sabotage yourself or others. You take time for your needs and wants and you care for and about yourself. In addition, it means that you are willing to go for the “seemingly impossible” that which appears unreasonable.
7. To be committed to moving in your life; to reach out for help and/or to have a coaching session when you get off track or “stuck.” It doesn’t mean that you must be perfect, but rather that you are realizing your dreams and making strides towards the others. The possibility of getting “stuck” is there for anyone who is too proud to reach out to others. Living the process means that you are never too proud to reach out to other coaches to obtain support, encouragement, and validation. In other words, you practice what you preach and you do what you teach.
8. To love yourself unconditionally; all the parts of you; and to treasure who you are. Conditional love means that you accept yourself only when you live up to the expectations you have stipulated. When your body looks the way it should, when you produce the results that you have outlined, when you have your relationship in great shape, and when your life is the perfect picture of success. When you love yourself unconditionally, you love and accept yourself when areas of your life are imperfect. When you are sick in bed you love yourself. When a big deal has fallen through, you love and accept yourself. When you have a dispute with your best friend, you love and accept yourself. When you let someone down, break an agreement, or unknowingly hurt someone, you still love and accept yourself. This may sound like narcissism, but in actuality it is about treasuring who you are and honoring your relationship with yourself. You also reflect to discover your lessons.
9. To pursue your dreams, your inspiration, to follow your “higher self,” and your messages. Going for your dreams may not always be convenient. Life presents us with tests and lessons that beg the question, “How much do you want it?” When you go after your dreams, inspiration and messages you realize that you will be asked to stretch into larger shoes than you previously filled. If you are going to be an example to others, you need to show the way. Showing the way means leading others to their inspiration. When you can’t seem to book the flight, find the time, or breakthrough the considerations, you use your own coach to support you through the challenges and make it happen.
10. To reach out to others and/or to God when you need support believing in the perfection of all and seeing your circumstances in the right perspective. Reaching out is critical. If you expect others to reach out to you, you must be willing to take personal inventory, notice when you are stuck, tell the truth, and do whatever you need to do to become unstuck. The reaching out to others does not exclude, a higher power, your angels, your spirit guides, or dear loved ones who have crossed over. Reaching out means that you acknowledge where you are and you ask for help, guidance or direction.
11. To be responsible for your behavior and for your own actions, and to take charge of all situations which you are able to bring to a positive resolution. Being responsible doesn’t mean that you are to blame. Being responsible means that you acknowledge that you are cause in your circumstances. It means that you are willing to learn a lesson from everything that happens to you. It means that you are willing to take a leadership role in all areas that can possibly be resolved.
12. To regard everything in your life as a mirror, to learn a lesson, to grow, to search for the perfection in the grand scheme of things and to self-correct lovingly. Your commitment to growth supercedes any need to be perfect or to diminish yourself. Pride doesn’t block you from seeing, discovering, and growing in every facet of your life. Seeing the perfection is not always easy. To see the perfection, you must have some perspective and an elevated viewpoint. When you see the perfection, you examine the situation from the point of view of being necessary to teach you a lesson that otherwise you might not learn.
Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott