be a better listener

You know, I’ve taught classes on active listening but I’m not an active listener. I’ve read articles on listening and nodded my head all the way through, but I’m terrible listener. I space out, I think about what went on earlier in the day and about what I want to do later. I think I know what the other person is going to say so I finish for them (how annoying!) and the worst part is that everything everyone ever says to me, I have to respond with something similar in my life (‘yeah, me too…’). I used to think that to be a good conversationalist, you had to agree with the other people and add to their input with experiences from your own life—sort of to validate their experience. But now I see that is just irritating and even deflating to the speaker. I’m beginning to see that asking questions to draw people out might be a better way to be a good listener. Even if the topic is boring, if you ask enough questions, they’ll get to the good stuff. I guess that’s active listening. I guess it’s time for me to practice what I ‘preach’!