get healthy and lose thirty pounds

as of yesterday

35-31-42

yep.

Comin’ up on my one year anniversary with my job.

In that time I gained thirty-two pounds… that is mind-boggling to me, to actually do the math. Thirty-two! I sit at a desk all day and cram sugar to smother the ever-present stress of this job. Twenty-four of those pounds I had just finished losing when I started my job, thanks to cooking my own food and absolutely putting my foot down about additives and refined sugar and starch.

My stomach protrudes as far as my breasts and it has a constant uncomfortable stuffed feeling. I barely fit into the jeans I bought my first week on the job, the ones that I later replaced with skinnier jeans.

I am going to Florida for a week and when I come back I will start to eat healthy again.

So. I set this stuff up three years ago. I haven’t been on in over a year. How sad that I still have the same goals—lose weight, gain confidence, live life to the fullest.

Well, I no longer want to be vegan. I lost almost twenty pounds last year, but gained it back, and now I can’t do it again. A little bit depressing that I am going to Florida in ten days and I’m about as big as I’ve ever been. I would like to be buying a cute little bikini as a treat for lost weight rather than knowing that no matter how cute it is, I am going to have a belly hanging out of it.

i will…

-do simple things that will help me feel better like drinking plenty of water, getting 8 hours of sleep each night, and taking vitamins.
-admit the fact that i am responsible for my actions and their consequences, take charge, and stop smoking.
-decide before i start drinking how much i will drink, and stick to that amount.
-keep plenty of fruits and vegetables around to munch on when i am hungry; fill up on these instead of sugar, salt, and caffeine.
-sit down at a table for meals and focus on eating a portion size that is comfortable.
-pay attention to how i am feeling physically; attempt to establish a normal pattern of eating when i am hungry and stopping when i am full.
-pay attention to how i am feeling emotionally; why do i want to eat? why does it make me feel more complete? what else can i do that will make me feel good?
-find constructive things to do instead of eating: read, write in a journal, talk to a friend, take a walk, do homework.
try out different forms of exercise- running, swimming, biking, pilates, yoga—until i find one that i enjoy.
-focus on the end results and talk myself through the tough times. recognize the cycle of bad feelings and overeating, and realize that food can only control me as much as i let it.

firstly, i need to start eating well. that means i need to cut way back on junk food, fast food, salty foods, caffeine, and refined sugar. the “go vegan” goal will help as well.

i am an emotional eater and i tend to go to food automatically whenever i have spare time. i spend a lot of money on impulse food purchases. i can sit in front of the tv for long periods of time and just eat snack after snack.

here are a few rules i will try to hold to:
-drink 8 glasses of water each day
-stop smoking
-pay attention to how much alcohol i am consuming; try to keep it to two drinks at the most
-no caffeine
-no refined sugar
-no fast food
-cut back on salty foods
-fill up on fruits and vegetables
-eat a multivitamin every day
-no meat, dairy, or eggs

-don’t eat in a dark room
-don’t eat in front of tv, the computer, or a book
-don’t eat in bed
-eat at the table with no entertainment at a set time
-pay attention to portions; don’t take the bag with you
-if you are out to eat, just get a side of vegetables and water. cheap AND healthy.
-before you eat, think about what you are feeling and why you need to eat.

basically, i want to change eating from something that i do every chance i get in massive quantities to something i do three times a day in small amounts when i’m hungry. i’ve gotten way too much enjoyment out of food in the past 20 years and it has taken its toll on my body. i want to stop eating when i’m full.