compile a 100-things-about-me list

last year when i was compiling some of the entries for this list, i had written that i was depressed and unhappy or something to that description. i am much happier now since that time. i owe that to changing my lifestyle and focusing on eating better and fitness. it was the best thing i did, and has done wonders for my soul.

my life is not perfect at all, i could winge and moan about everything thats wrong about it, but i feel happier in general. and its good to be in this place

im a gymaholic. love going to the gym and working out! love lifting weights and have recently re-discovered the joys of running.

used to have massive food issues (i was obese in the past about 2.5 years ago), i lost that weight, then my weight was a yoyo for a few years. fat years, thin years etc… now i think i have finally dealt with my food issues since the beginning of 2013 and why i ate like that. i made it a priority to get healthy and fitter, upon seeing some horrible fat exmas pics last year, that totally made me feel depressed. and i eat clean and much healthier. its an ongoing process, but i dont miss or crave junk food or processed foods that much. i like eating healthier. and enjoy making healthier foods. i also eat more from a fitness point of view ie eat for fuel not for taste, for the most part.

i have food issues. i binge eat. food addiction. this is something ive battled with on and off since my teens. ive been obese once. and i managed to get rid of it. but now i feel im on a slippery slope again and heading that direction. so i need to fight back again.

i know i use food to medicate myself cos of depression.

i feel like im in a dysfunctional family. i try to be a better daughter. sometimes im good with it sometimes not so good. but at the same time, yes i try to be a better daughter… but is it too much to ask for them to be better parents. theres only so much arguing i can take all day every day. sometimes theres so much bad energy in this house. it hurts so much. other tiems it is normal.

the happiest times for me, is when im sitting in my room and the door is open and i can hear my folks in the lounge talking nicely quietly about something, as well as laughing over something… i just enjoy it so much because it is so rare. they fight alot. its hard for me to bear sometimes.

feeling a bit depressed overall. this time of year… Xmas and new year… im not really into it. i try and get into the spirit of it and give well wishes but i find it a very stressful time. i sometimes feel even my family and few friends are against me. like nobody cares. and nobody can accept me for me. i feel like a failure as a person. also jsut overall depressed with life and how its turning out. funny how life turns out… nothing that i would have liked happen has happened. but i am the captain of my destiny, i have to make these things happen for the most part. so its all my fault. but somethings u cant control. or can you. maybe it feels like i cant… cos im so negative in my head all the time… that its becoming a self fulfilling prophesy.

85 98% lost hope in love. 2% holding onto hope. pretty sad for a hopeless romantic.

86 my new bbc series love is called the paradise, i finished the first season recently and waiting for the next season 2. its a victorian period movie about englands first department store… and all the shenanigans that go on. a love story too. great cast and filming. trailer is here
love this so much! its so good!

dorky as i may be… i am a big “sex and the city fan”. i got all the seasons on boxset.

i would describe myself as dorky. i am sooo uncool and so unsexy.

i wouldnt know what to do with myself if a guy is overly flirty. i actually dont like it. id prob make some dorky comment while he does his playa routine. then he’d look at me like im crazy… and buh bye… and in my head im thinking… thanks for going!

im so out of the game. jsut give me normal one on one.

this list very hard to complete. u would think it would be easy.

whilst i am a romantic at heart, i crush easily, im also beginning to make peace with the fact that i might not find someone to settle down with ultimately. its scary. but im making peace with it. i will stay ever hopefull tho.