be who Jesus wants me to be.

going to do this despite what the “religionists” think…I get my marching orders from God not man.

2009 is already difficult. I was so hoping to get a small reprieve from the 2008 problems… it is even harder with loved ones going through extremely difficult times; fighting so called Christian parents who basically stand in the way of their kids faith over and over again and the uncertainty of $$ woes. Obviously, God doesn’t make everything easy just because we have faith – it is all about holding tighter than ever before to His promises. I pray for strength to not give up on fighting for the youth that I lead.

He really wants me to be patient and long suffering because there are things for quite some time that He isn’t really changing in my life….

our youth leadership team is discussing chapter by chapter John C. Maxwell’s 21 Indispensable Qualities of a a leader and we got to the chapter of security. There is a “fleshing it out” part afterward where it asks you to ask people 3 strengths in your leadership and 3 weaknesses – so we decided to do this – the responses I got back were humbling…nothing I didn’t know about myself but somehow when you see them written in black and white it was jarring. But to be effective you have to work on those things that need fixing. There’s no point in fine tuning an engine when all four tires are flat and the car isn’t going anywhere. I need Jesus’ help more not less than I ever did before.

last night a lesson on brokenness and of course how God teaches us is through experience and had to deal with it even before going home to bed. It was a tough message to write, speak and of course live.

today I just woke up angry… I really don’t have any specific reason why but I am. I had other reasons after my day began like I went to McDonald’s to get my coffee and found that they raised their price by a dime…. :( And just the never ending barrage of bills that are always due. Nothing major or above and beyond the normal cost of living things but they are just annoying how it never ever stops. It seems like you send off the money and you turn around and get your mail and there’s another. If only our checks came in at the same rate. But I did actually get up from the wrong side of the bed today. Hopefully with prayer and reading God’s word I will see something that He wants me to see or hear.

He teaches me something new about myself over and over again. My love for Him is the most important thing in my life. I love His Word. I cannot even entertain the thought of not having Him in my life. Thank you Jesus for my salvation.

that what Jesus is teaching me is to let Him lead me where He wants to lead me but be patient and w a i t.
He is in control and doesn’t miss anything. If I believe that… and I do… then I need to let the timing be His.

Awesome scripture, I was doing my daily bible reading out of the Message translation today:

It matters very little to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don’t even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless. I’m not aware of anything that would disqualify me from being a good guide to you, but that doesn’t matter much, the Master makes that judgment.

Love it! I love Paul!!!!!!

I think I start to be that person and then this crazy, bizarre, sinful nature takes over and shows me that I still have lots to work out. Thankfully we have a wonderful Savior and Master who forgives – and helps us with His Holy Spirit and even better takes our guilt from us and gives us a new day every 24 hours! He is so good to me.