Write every day

Well, I’ve had this blog Muddart for a while, but I’ve been a terrible blogger. However, the other day I realized I really don’t have an excuse any more. Why?

I have finally been successful at writing (almost) every day, and now even if I give myself to writing for my blog once or twice a month, that’s nothing if I’m writing every day anyway. So, I finished a piece on Art & Fear that I first drafted 3 1/2 years ago, and posted it here.

So now I think I’ll add being a better blogger to my 43things.

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve been on this site… sorry to all the people who’ve cheered me that I’ve ignored.

Anyway, regarding this goal, I have now been doing this for some months – maybe at least 3 months straight. I started by making sure I wrote in my journal at least 4 pages if I didn’t write on my other projects. That led to writing 31K+ words in the past month, on a novel for which I’ve had the idea for years. The original idea came to me in high school, and then about 6 years ago, I got a whole framework for the story. Now, for the past month, I have actually written good portions of it.

It will need a lot of work in the second draft, but I have already reviewed a few chapters, and I feel it has promise. Even if it doesn’t – is unpublishable or something – right now I don’t care because I am having a blast writing it. I’ve long had a sort of love/hate relationship with my writing. I love it, but it also was grueling at times.

This experience, on the other hand, has been pure joy. I think it’s because I really have been able to turn off the “inner critic”, and not worry about if it’s good or not (until I’m ready to assess all that), but just enjoy myself discovering the narrative and the characters as I go. I have never written a novel before, but had read novelists describing their characters like little autonomous living beings who don’t always do what they want them to do. That is the part that is so interesting for me: I have this general direction I’m going in, but as I write stuff comes out that surprises me. It’s fun, like watching a movie. It’s coming out of my imagination, but it’s deep from my imagination at times, so even “I” don’t know what’s going to happen until it does. Weird!

I guess I’ve experienced this before in other creative works, when I’m in the “trance of writing” as Eric Maisel puts it, BUT I think the phenomena becomes much more pronounced in a longer piece of fiction where the characters have more times to act and develop.

One last observation: I believe the act of writing every day for two months was a direct cause of this creative burst now, even if it was forced, and even if it was just random thoughts in my journal. The act of free writing anything somehow turns on a part of oneself. The “task oriented” me, thinks it doesn’t count if it’s something I’m writing for “my eyes only”, but the creative side counts everything because she knows she works best when she is allowed to come out and play every SINGLE day!

I wrote again today. For me this goal is not about writing in my journal, nor emails nor blogging (though all those things are important to me). It’s about the articles, essays and book projects that I want to work on, so that I actually complete them and publish them in this life.

Anyway, this is the second day in a row that I have worked on one of my projects. Let’s see if I can make it 3 in a row tomorrow.

I continued to read Deep Writing by Eric Maisel. Maisel talks about the process of “hushing” the inner voices, and “holding the intention to write”. He talks of these same concepts in Fearless Creating, so I had already become familiar with what he meant by this. A few years back, when I first picked up Fearless Creating, I applied those ideas to working in my pottery studio with great success. The results were so dramatic that my studio partner, a painter, started reading the book too.

So, anyway, since I began reading Deep Writing a few days ago, I found myself really reorienting myself toward a writing frame-of-mind. I was almost ready to begin yesterday, but I feel strongly about letting holidays be holidays, so I didn’t start, but I did hold on to and nurture the intention to write, which is important. The idea of “holding the intention” is the idea of setting your course toward writing. Also, a friend called and I mentioned the idea I was working on. He asked me some questions that helped me to more deeply frame the concept.

So today I wrote for over and hour and a half on the concept I’m working on. My plan is to write tomorrow as well.

I’ve made small steps toward this. My goal is not to write in my journal, but to write on certain projects I’ve started, BUT I do notice that when I write in my journal daily, I find it easier to write other stuff. It kind of primes the pump. So, I have been writing a bit each day.

Right now I am working on the following:
- New Years Letter
- Journal

I am also picking up Deep Writing by Eric Maisel again. His book Fearless Creating really helped me to work regularly in my studio, and this book seems to be similar, but with a focus on writing. I don’t think I have to read a ton each day. It’s enough if I just use the book to spark me to action.

I was just reading one of my old blog entries, and thought “It’s like there’s this whole secret person inside of me trying to get out.” I have too many thoughts to contain just inside of me, but no platform to release them.

My work allows me to release some of them, but of course only those that relate to my work. Now that’s something, because my work is something I care about. I am thankful for that. But sometimes I feel like there is this whole inner person that no one has ever seen. I NEED to write! What holds me back?

Seriously, since I have set this goal I have not written 1 page. Now, I know I’ve got a few things going on in my life right now, and should be easy on myself a bit. Cut myself a break. I just had surgery a few weeks ago.

On the other hand, I know there are things that hold me back. I think I’m afraid that if others see this secret person they’ll be indifferent. Indifference is the worst. Would rather be misunderstood or disliked.

I also think I am starting a new thing on 43 things: Discover What Keeps me from Writing.

I have had seasons when I have written 3 or more pages every day in my journal, and during those seasons I really increased my other writing as well.

My own goal now is to write every day on one of my several unfinished writing projects. This would be in addition to any journal writing I would do, but I might include some of my writing done for work if it’s a project that I feel strongly about.

I am looking for incremental change here. If I just write several times a week, it will be better than what I am doing now, which is really intermittent. But eventually, I want to work my way up to every day. I’m not putting a page quota, because right now I’ll be happy if I write anything.

Maybe I’ll try record here each day that I do write.