trust myself

i know what he’s going to say. but i’m going to let him say it anyway.
he’s going to be a psychologist, thinking he can fix everything.

and then i’m going to say it:

well, not everything (including friendship) needs fixing.
and not all that’s broken needs to be fixed as well.

i like my broken pieces. they’re meant to be that way so i can make new ones.

..while sitting still in the car at night while it rained. the street lights casted shadows from the trees near-by and i was just laughing ..by myself.. gulping down a cup of strawberry yogurt. (might i add, it tasted so good!).

and i just thought.. in order to trust myself, i must know how to be alone with myself. -be okay with being me, alone, myself.

i’m getting there! :)

there’s a light
and i don’t know what it means
tell me
in a speech song dance call
drum smoke phone )evoke
let all

sometimes it shines upon me
promises beautiful
gorgeous great
so keen being me you them us
hands to obey

sometimes
heartbroken trust
bitter words worlds
pretentious pondering
won’t work out

i’m left in dismay
confusion car-crash
jell-o
where are all of us left to?

when trust itself
cannot be trusted

everyone wishes to be sorry

not trusting a few people.

haha this is funnier than i thought. it hurts it’s funny and it hurts.

i told my friend that it’ll take time for me to trust him/her again.. but the truth is, after much thinking, i don’t think i can ever. even if whatever happened did not happen, i still think my friend is full of bitterness in the words that she/he uses. sarcasm can only take a friendship so far.

another is very full of him/herself. burried in ego and always wanting to compete and be better than others. there is no resting or content for a mind that doesn’t see the greatness and beauty in other people’s achievements.

no doubt, they have great talents, they’re smart and are liked by many. but how they have mentally affected me does not able myself to trust them. anymore.

my instincts told me i shouldn’t have jumped into the pool… and i didn’t listen. now, one of them is supposedly my ‘best friend’.