stand up for myself

...of feeling safer is that your tolerance of risk also becomes smaller. Back when just being alive and mostly functional was an accomplishment, everything else seemed like small potatoes in comparison. I notice I’ve been worrying about smaller and smaller things, worrying more about what other people are thinking than I used to. My perspective has shifted, becoming what I would characterize as more petty and withdrawn. This whole “getting over” business is not at all straightforward.

Eventually, I’m going to have to confront my ex about transferring the titles out of my name. I have no idea where the paperwork is, and I’m still paying registration fees on two of the bikes.

In my mind I still think he has a serious chip on his shoulder and may be volatile or dangerous and I do want a lawyer to help me sort all this out. I don’t know that I can afford a lawyer right now (I make enough that they’re probably not going to give me a fee break, but a lot of that money is going into repairing my savings, which I spent trying to support my ex). And let’s face it, I’m chickenshit. If I even think too long about him I still get flashbacks. But I can’t wait until I feel better because feeling better is going to take a long time.