plan my wedding...

Conversation with a friend:

Him: What time does the wedding start? 5:30, right?

Me: Yeah… but you all have to arrive before that. We need to start seating at 5, so by 5:30 we can actually start.

Him: Yeah, yeah, okay, but it’s only going to last, like, ten minutes, right?

Me: I don’t know.

Him: Well, I assume it wouldn’t last more than ten minutes, and then there will be karaoke, right?

Me: I don’t know. What do you care?

Him: I want to know when the karaoke starts.

Me: What?

Him: What time does the karaoke start!?

Me: I don’t know! Whenever we say! First we’re going to have the wedding, then everyone is going downstairs to eat, while we take pictures -

Him: Ooooh, pictures. That’s why you’re not starting the karaoke directly after the wedding.

Me: We’re not starting karaoke directly after the wedding, because we don’t WANT karaoke directly after the wedding.

Him: Why not? If you don’t, there won’t be anything to do!

Me: There will be food, socializing, and… and it’s a fucking wedding reception, we don’t have to have karaoke at all! And it won’t be the whole time.

Him: I don’t understand why you don’t want it the whole time.

Me: Because I don’t think my own wedding reception will be so boring that it will require karaoke the whole time. Not everyone likes karaoke.

Him: So what? I just want to know when the karaoke starts.

Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN! If you’re only coming to my wedding for the karaoke, just go to a karaoke bar instead!

And then I died of a heart attack. The end.

Our customized chocolate coins should be showing up some time today.

My (future) sister-in-law showed us some things she’s been working on for the cake, and it all looks really cool. It’s going to be a huge cake. Turns out I can’t eat fondant, so the small, gluten free cake will just have regular icing.

We got some pirate CDs for the pirate-ness, although pirate songs will be interspersed through “regular” music (well, we listen to jazz and funk, mostly, so it will be an “interesting” combination.)

My sister is almost done with the cake topper. I can’t wait to see!

The wedding party is all ready to go with outfits.

Tons of people I don’t know will be there, including people I’m related to who I hardly know and might not recognize. Scary!

Less than a week, now!

1. We have a DJ… and there will be karaoke. Booyah!

2. A friend offered to take the traditional posed pictures, and we will have disposable cameras on all the tables. Hurray for not spending money on pics!

3. There will be a bride’s cake, a groom’s cake, and a gluten free cake (which means the bride’s cake isn’t actually my cake at all. The bride’s cake is now the guests’ cake, and the gluten free cake is the bride’s… and some of the bride’s cousins’ – cake.)

4. D has the most magnificent ring! It is gold with a jade stone – he picked out something green, to represent his connection to me. I am honored, and couldn’t be more pleased with his selection.

5. My sister, for some reason, is under the impression that I am totally freaking out. Every time I try to have a conversation with her about things over the internet, she acts like I’m a complete basket case. She told my other sisters I was flipping out. I’m really just kind of baffled, but I guess it doesn’t matter, except that I’ll have to hear from her, for the rest of my life, about how much I freaked out over this wedding stuff. And I’ll never be able to convince her otherwise, because when I actually see her in person, it will be AT the wedding, and I WILL be freaking out. So, you know. Go figure.

I’m really bummed, because my dad might not make it to the wedding. He’s been having a really hard time since Mom passed, and I don’t want to push him into a highly emotional situation with no escape.

So, no parents at all, and nobody to walk me down the aisle. A friend of mine suggested that I walk down by myself, but have my fiance meet me halfway, and walk me to the front. I like this idea very much, so that’s what I’m going to plan on.

So, about six of my female friends, and all the women from D’s side of the family showed up and made floral arrangements, and helped me put together the bouquets for my bridesmaids and me.

The flowers are set in treasure chests and skull heads – but OMG they are so much more magnificent than it sounds! Everything is silk wildflowers, beads, and shells. D’s mom took pictures, but I don’t have any yet. It’s all very piratey, anyway. It looks like My bridesmaids and I could have gone out and stolen these flowers from someone’s garden. But it’s pretty. It’s just really neat!

We went to the ren fair yesterday and got D’s outfit. It’s a white pirate jacket. He’s going to look wonderful. We bought his ring, too. It’s yellow gold with a green stone – not a regular wedding ring, but it’s very masculine and yet pretty, and he’s one of the few men I know who can pull off ornate rather well. I’m just so excited that we have his ring!

I still don’t think that we are going to do a wedding band for me – just the engagement ring – and I think I’ll be satisfied when he finally slips it onto my finger properly, since we both forgot he was supposed to do so when he proposed to me. He just gave it to me, and I put it on. lol

Some friends volunteered to take all the basic posed pictures for us, and we are putting out disposable cameras for all the candid stuff. Also, it looks like we have a DJ lined up, and they sound totally cool with the whole pirate theme. Plus, they provide karaoke! Yay!

47 days!

I’m upset because my bridesmaids are really only bridesmaids in name. They live out of town, and they can’t afford a hotel when they arrive, so they’re staying at a friend’s house. This friend lives about two hours away.

They won’t be around for moral support while I get ready for the big day. They probably won’t make it to the rehersal on time. They aren’t even sure they can make it to help decorate for the wedding.

D’s mom, and some women from his family, are going to be there to help me. Now, this is great in some ways, and bad in others. The great part is that I adore my future mother-in-law. She’s very laid back, and I know she’s thrilled to be a part of her son’s wedding – she’s been waiting for this day for years.

The bad part is, she doesn’t know about me when I’m under stress. For one thing, in general, I have a potty mouth. For another my potty mouth is directed at inanimate objects that are bothering me. In this case, wardrobe malfunctions, make-up disasters, and the weather would all be exposed to my verbal tyranny. I’m going to be flipping out trying to find another way to vent my stress, so that I don’t offend her, or the gaggle females I’ve never even met who have offered to help.

Also, if we arrive together, that means that the mother of the groom does not get seated before I arrive. That also freaks me out.

I really don’t like any of my current options.

My, but they are heavy.

The venue is paid for. We think we know who our photographer will be.

His mom and sister want to throw me a bridal shower featuring a lingerie theme… I’m not into it. I don’t want to ask my friends to pick out lingerie for me. I told them this… hope I didn’t insult anyone.

I had already asked for a gift – I asked my female friends to come over and help with putting together flower arrangements/centerpieces, and while we were at it, we’d make a day of it by adding some food trays and wine coolers.

I have this feeling that someone, somewhere, at some time will point out that only asking girls to come over and help with flower arrangements is sexist. Well, I’m out-sourcing to greater feminine sensibilities than my own, so I guess it is. Too bad.

People like to say the wedding day is all about the bride. I strongly disagree. It’s about the couple. It’s all about the bond, and everyone involved. I know this has to be true, because if it was all about me, the ceremony would consist of me eating haagen dazs ice cream and listening to Tears for Fears while sketching mythical creatures in my Academie Sketch Diary. Instead, there’s a show (aka ceremony), followed by a party, and my favorite part, toasts. Toasts to him, to me, to the two of us as a couple, and our toasts to everyone, because that is what and who it’s all about.

I’ve been feeling fine.

I ordered half a dozen skulls with removable tops today. Wedding skulls! Yay! My fiance found them at a very decent price.

I sent out evites for a craft day, so that my artistic friends can get in on the decorating action (because I need that a lot more than I need presents, so this is instead of a bridal shower)

Thngs are movieg along nicely! 74 more days!

I finished my invitations and got them all sent out, pretty much.

I made a cushion for the rings to sit on. I haven’t put a ribbon in it to hold them yet. The cushion will be in a treasure chest, which my ring bearers will carry down the aisle together.

My fiance talked to someone about doing photography, but she hasn’t gotten back to us yet.

We’re still looking for a DJ, and I still need to call the caterers to discuss my unique dietary needs.

Some friends and I are going to get together and make flower arrangements. I contacted someone about some decorative skulls. Everyone needs decorative wedding skulls.