be in a long term relationship

Okay, so technically I shouldn’t be making this post until tomorrow night, but I won’t be in town, or around any computers, so I’m making it now.

I’m so happy that we’ve made it to a whole year! This is not only a personal victory for me, but one that belongs to both of us, as the fact that we have each other far outweighs my personal goal.

I am keeping this goal on my list, because I can’t decide if one year means it’s time to boot the goal, or if I should wait until something else comes along, like we get engaged or something. No more monthly updates though. I’ll miss that!

Next entry will be a whole year!

And how is it going? Well, we’ve faced a bit of adversity, what with age issues and all. Had a couple of people try to break us up.

My dad… doesn’t seem to like him. Age issues again, I think. Whatever. He doesn’t even know him.

My mom… loves him. So do my sisters, and close friends.

Got an IM from my ex-boyfriend the other day. He and my sister are very good friends these days, and he and I are still friends as well. Very sweet guy, just not the one for me. So, he IMs me, and says, “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m really happy for you. You guys make a great couple.”

Aww. That makes me feel good in so many ways, and I just hope that he finds this kind of happiness as well.

But I digress. In a month, D and I will be hitting that one year mark. Two years ago, he took me on a date, to a steak house in my home town for my birthday. This year, he’s taking me to that same steak house for my twenty-sixth birthday, one week after our one year anniversary. It’s that kind of saccharine romance I hate to watch in the movies, but love to get involved in, myself. I think, because movie people are crazy and always have to ruin things with drama and two-timing, but us real people can go out and have a comfortable meal, make good memories together, and keep them, without ever worrying that we aren’t being entertaining enough to the rest of the world. Good deal, huh?

The two of us always disagree as to whether our month anniversary is the 6th or the 7th, so at minight, between day 6 and day 7, we say, “Happy __ month anniversary my darling/sweetie.”

Either we have officially hit 10 months, which is amazing. Not only did I get past nine, but I stayed on for a whole other month.

Thing is, it happened so fast, I just know in a blink of an eye, we’ll hit the one year mark, and then what? No more monthly updates! But it all happened so fast!

A year doesn’t seem nearly as long as it did a year ago. So, I’m asking what I was asking when I first started this goal… How long is long, anyway?

That’s it! This is officially the longest I have ever dated anyone, and every day after this will break my record!

And just in time for Valentine’s day. I love him so much. :)

About posting on all of my goals today… but this is the one I actually keep up with… I will post anyway, though…

We are actually going somewhere for Valintine’s day. This will be the first time I’ve ever spend Valintine’s day with a loved one, because I always break up right before Valintine’s day. This is largely due to my huge guilt complex, which will not allow me to spend Valintine’s with anyone I don’t really love, because it would be a huge, huge lie. This year is different, because I love him, but I think that’s where a lot of my anxiety is coming from.

My subconscious is going, “Okay, this is all wrong for two reasons. One, it’s getting really close to nine months, and you don’t like anyone enough to stay with them that long, and two, it’s January, the traditional month of dumping boys. You’re way overdue.”

Well, I say this to you, Subconscious. ...Shut up, you big dummyhead. I’m happy. Yar.

Okay, after a year, I will stop posting the monthly updates, but right now I’m coming up on something big (for me). Next month will be the nine month mark, and anything past that will be uncharted territory. I’m twenty-five years old, and nine months is the longest amount of time I have ever invested in a relationship.

I was having anxiety about that, because, well I’m just the anxious type, but then I was very honest about it with the b/f and he said, “Well, just think of it as fourteen months, because that’s how long we’ve been living together. Then you’ve already passed your fear.”

And then it hit me how strange and absurd life is, and I laughed. What is there to be afraid of?

We just passed seven months!

Of anyone elses feelings, we officially hit the six month mark. We went to visit my family last weekend, and he scored major points with my mom by not being afraid to joke around with her and be a smartass. My mom, who seems too innocent at first to be able to handle such joking, through back her head and laughed, “I Like this one! He’s a trouble-maker!”

I know my family loves a boyfriend when they all start ganging up on me. For example:

Me: (to boyfriend) You’re being grumpy.
Mom: That’s because he has to hang around you all the time!
Boyfriend: Ha! She told you!
Me: Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!
Mom: Ha! That’s what you think! We’re a team now!
Boyfriend: You got nothin’!
Me: You guys suck. Let’s go eat food.

I love my family.

At the beginning of November… I know six months is not an extraordinarily long time, but it will be a miracle to me! We’re celebrating by going to a weekend resort, where we will get massages, go horseback riding, and have a lovely picnic!

I don’t know why people do this: I’ve had a couple of male friends try to tell me that he is not interesting enough for
me, and that he is not religeous enough, and pretty much that
God wants me to break up with him. First of all, he is
interesting enough for me… he’s quiet, but anyone who gets to
know hom knows that he has an oddball sense of humor, and is
just very smart, and fun to be with. Secondly, no, he is not
religeous, but he is spiritual, and he believes in God. It may
be my choice to go to church sometimes, but I really do not
think that the existence of my eternal soul hinges on that.

My mom and sisters say that those guys are just jealous, and
that I should not listen to them. Of course, I will continue to
do what I believe is right, but it irritates me that I have to
stand listening to it at all.

Okay, so it has been four months now, and I know that isn’t long, but for me, it is amazing. I have gone longer before. I have gone nine months in a relationship, but time isn’t the only thing that counts. Last night, my sister made a comment that meant a lot to me.

She said, “This is the first time you’ve ever really seemed happy in a relationship.”

The funny thing is, she’s right. It is the first time I’ve ever been in a relationship where I didn’t feel like a mouse trapped under a glass, trying to scrape my way out. More than that though – everything seems right. This is such a wonderful feeling.

We have an age gap, and religious differences, which are two big reasons we almost didn’t get together. But, he is very respectful of my choices, and we are still able to get into philisophcal discussions, so I feel that I can still grow in my faith as I am with him. As far as our age difference, I thought that people would not be as accepting as they are, but I was wrong.

My mom and sisters love him, and his family treats me like one of them. Our friends are glad to see us together, because they have never seen either of us so happy with another person. To even find out what everyone else thought, however, I had to face the possibility that they might not be so accepting. I had to first decide if that meant anything to me. I realized then that my feelings for him were bigger than my fear of rejection from other people. Since then, there have been a couple of times when we had to stand up for eachother, and it has been worth it every time.

I believe I have discovered what love is. Suddenly, I believe that two people can be made just for eachother, and that nothing and nobody in the world, short of death, can take that away. Suddenly, it’s like I get romance, and love songs, and candlelight dinners, where they had no meaning to me before. I would question if I am being naive, or irrational to think these things, but I would rather just revel in the beauty of it all.