be more patient

im taking meds now. its weird. but i think it has genuinely helped me. it feels better knowing that the pressure isnt all on me, that i do have some help.

ok. breathe.

im weird. i got an iphone for christmas, and had a case, but the dog ate it (see earlier entry). since then I have been carrying it around naked, which i like overall, but had noticed the screen is getting scratched up. so i researched a little, and found a company online that makes iphone protectors. tried putting it on this morning. it has one of these static screens. there’s bubbles all over the motherfucker. and the wrap thing, for the back..i just threw the whole thing in the trash. i think i just wasted 20 bucks.

has been..strange. my head hurt i was so depressed, and im not sure why. i mean, i really dont have any problems in my life, but i think in general ive just been frustrated, feeling trapped, mostly by my job and school, and now in a relationship. well, thats a harsh word for my current relationship, not really correct. but..i dunno, im getting older, feeling like i kind of have to make a decision and stick to it, and ive always been one for second guessing, especially myself. so..i dunno, i dont think anyone’s gonna argue with me and say that relationships dont take patience. and out of a lot of them, this one’s not nearly as bad as some in the past. actually quite good now that i think about it .

we got a new dog a couple months ago. overall, it has been..stressful. maybe i say that because for the past two weeks i dread coming home to see what the hell she has chewed up now. today my girlfriend told me that she had chewed up my nice pair of headphones. ive wanted a nice set of headphones for the past several years, finally found a pair that i really liked, saved up, and bought them about a year ago. i loved them. they were about $170. and now they are dead. it took every ounce of strength to not leave work and go home and just..
sigh.

we’re going to a trainer this week.

with all ive been through, my threshold of patience has grown dramatically. but nothing tests patience like a relationship. its one of those things too, you cant tell someone how to be patient, they just either are or they arent.