go to Belarus in July

for V. this week. It takes 5 business days only, but I don’t want to postpone it till the last moment.

And I am making to my mom’s 50th birthday! She will be thrilled even though I catch just a part of it :) The tickets went on sale since last week too – that was pretty lucky!

We are going to attend my sister’s wedding this August. Only it’s really bittersweet at the moment. We haven’t talked for 3 weeks after our last hurtful conversation. When I had my first anxiety attack, I told her how scared I was and how lost I felt. She called me 2 times within next month (we previously talked almost every day). She didn’t answer my calls or texts. What happened is she simply blocked negative stuff (me being sick) out of her mind. She did it before too. When we talked last time and I confronted her she got so defensive and told me that all I usually do is complain about my health so she didn’t realize that I was in any more “danger” than usual. I was speechless and told her I have to go. How is my health less important than her endless boyfriends problems? Or her online store that she discusses endlessly with me? Am I a lesser person than her? I know that we have to put it behind, but apology is required. We never before had a conflict for so long. I mean, she would disappear and appear out of my life, but never on bad terms.
Our trip is shaping up to be difficult and expensive. First of all, I fly alone (V. flies later and goes straight to Romania). I am skipping Romania this year. My return ticket will be around 1500 CAD till Minsk. His will be more because literally nothing flies from Romania to Belarus (the ticket he found was like 700 CAD one way!) And it’s less than 2 hour flight. When we will be in Minsk, we will be staying with parents (plus sister, plus dog) in a 2 bedroom apartment. It’s always so stressful and chaotic. And to add wedding preparations to that… I’m feeling anxious already. At least she’s moving with her husband to be after the wedding. Hopefully, next year my parents will visit us here so we don’t have to go every year but still will see them.