recover

Primarily because I realized if I never do counselling, I think I will be ok. If it happens that I will be doing admin work for the rest of my life (which is I think unlikely), I will survive. I have a good job, a good pay, an awesome husband and the list goes on. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to get a job in counselling, but this time I will be more resilient to failure.

So far still at the stage of explaining to the colleagues that I have failed the interview… 12 more to go! So far only one sly smile. I can do this! Who cares what others think of my incompetence! Go me!

I’m bitchy about it. I should suck it up, but I’m bitter and bitchy. And I really hope I will nail some fantastic job very soon and will blow away my managers. Ahhh I can only dream of them begging me to stay! Sweet revenge!!

_{umm yeah right}

I started applying for other jobs. In other companies. I’m not too sure I can change who I am to better fit this position, might as well look elsewhere.

I have recently ( 2 days ago) failed at a job interview. This was a shock to me and my friends, since this position was “promised” to me months ago. When I was hired they mentioned at the interview that they will transfer me as soon as there is an opening, since I am overqualified.
I am working for the same company at a lower position and was dreaming day and night of transferring to this new position. The new one is more challenging, interesting, and for which I basically did my M.Ed. I even got trained for it by the company, and yet, I FAILED the interview. I was traumatized. I am still in shock. I was trying to figure out why in hell would this happen to me.
I was well prepared. I am qualified for more than this new position had to offer. I had the training for it damn it!!!!! The person that got the job is not even bilingual! (the position states you have to bilingual to obtain the interview)
I wondered if it was due to my incompetence or the corporation playing an unfair game? Both or neither?
Either way I felt incompetent. I felt there is nothing I can do in this field, since they think I don’t even have the basic skills. (But I DOOOOOO!!!! My internship was ten times harder than this job and I rocked at it damn it)
Today Im returning to work for the first time, since the announcement of me not getting the job. Which was this Thursday. I will have to face my colleagues who are all expecting my transition to the new position.
Most of all I have to face myself and figure out what the hell is going on? Who am I? This feels like twilight zone.