make the most of my 30s

...reflecting on what I have achieved and where I am.

I have 3 beautiful, funny, clever and caring children.
I have 11 years experience in a job I love.
I have 4 A Levels, 2 degrees and a Diploma.
I have good relationships with my family and friends.
I have a good relationship with my ex husband of 10 years.
I have a safe, comfortable and affordable home.
I have recovered from a number of mental health issues.

I have put behind me a deep love affair of 18 months.

By the end of my 30s I would like to have:

Improved financial security.
Improved physical fitness.
A reliable vehicle.
Continued success and promotion at work.
A satisfying and rewarding hobby.
No addictions.
A way of giving back, volunteering, fundraising etc.
Increased confidence in myself.

...almost half way through my 30s now!

I’m noticing quite a few physical signs of ageing. My odd couple of grey hairs have rapidly multiplied this year and lack of funds for salon trips has left my hair in poor condition and desperately in need of some colour! The lines on my face are far more noticeable after another summer of sun and smoking too :(

However, my ageing appearance isn’t really bothering me too much, but the physical aches and pains are. My back is giving me a hell of a lot of bother and am taking painkillers daily. I need to get myself physically stronger so I can enjoy life to the full!

..... To know exactly how to achieve this at the moment. I’ve been doing some writing around figuring out my purpose in life. I hope once I’ve made some progress on that I will be clearer how to spend the rest of my 30s!

I guess though that I have made the most of my 30s by making some pretty major life decisions, such as ending my marriage. Though sad of course I’m glad not to be spending the rest of my 30s in an unhappy relationship.

..... How will I make the most of them?

• live with honesty and integrity
• be authentic
• be true to myself and my values
• establish some savings
• create a home
• make happy memories with the people I love

Have suddenly realised this is reading like a list of new goals. Perhaps how I need to make the most of my 30s is to return to 43T, reflect upon my goals and achieve them!

...and here are a few ways I’d like to make the most of them:

• Get in to a sustainable health routine that maximises my body’s chance of longevity without dominating my life.

• Boost my self esteem a little more but without self-seeking.

• Give my energy to my family and to the friendships that really count. More heartfelt chats over coffee and less drunken nights out.

• Pursue some of the creative projects that have grown in my mind.

• Plan some adrenaline rushes…jetski…parachute jump?

• Decide on my next tattoo and get it…a quarter sleeve?

• Put my energy into my self development and into strengthening my marriage.

• Got to new places, see new sights, try new things.

• Enjoy every moment of my children’s childhoods and don’t ever wish on to the next stage.

• Laugh. Love. Live.

...and looking forward…

I realise I have overcome some of the restraints of my past….but some have their claws firmly embedded. I have a much better understanding of who I am but I need to figure out how I change the parts I want to and keep the rest.

...my navel and getting my mermaid tattoo were two things I did age 30 that I am really pleased about.

When I was younger I always wanted my navel pierced but vowed to wait until I had a six pack and perfect flat tanned stomach. Then I got a six pack and the tan but discovered that after three babies no amount of diet or exercise will get my stomach flat – only surgery! On a whim I decided to get it done anyway, ever though I am nowhere near my lowest weight and I am really pleased I did.

My mermaid tattoo represents me in so many ways, it’s design includes includes reference to my childhood, my children, my hopes, fears and loves. I love in everyway and it was so worth the time/pain/cost!

...my thoughts.

Now is the time to incorporate all my learning into daily living. I feel the most mentally healthy that I have been…probably ever. I want to devise a strategy to maintain that throughout the challenges I am sure to face.

Defo need a scribble session. I also really want to complete my 30 year diary project as I think it will be really helpful in identifying my development and give me a nice black and white document to refer back to.

Oh, I’m definitely going to make the most of my thirties.

...to reflect upon where I’ve been, what I’ve learnt and where I’m going. My 30s feel like a time for solidifying my learning/ideas etc and sharing them somehow.

There have been a number of things recently (synchronicity?) pointing me in a particular direction and I think I’m going to explore it further. Hmmmmmm.

A little reflection today had me come to the conclusion that I do not want to spend my 30s agonising of the same issues I did in my 20s. I see some people I know still coming back the the same problems decade after decade. I don’t want to be in the same place in my 40s or 50s.

When I think back to my early 20s I did a lot of agonising over love and finding Mr Right – it’s certainly a relief not to be doing that right now! In my mid to late 20s weight and body image predominated.

Here’s some better themes for my 30s:

• Family
• Fitness
• Developing knowledge of my choice
• Creativity
• Travel

To start with I am going to redirect my focus. E.g. if I find myself agonising over my body I’ll focus instead on fitness. Let’s see how that goes for a while.
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