Learn to say no

Okay, so there’s still the odd occasion where I say yes when it’s really too much but I think I am much better at sticking to my boundaries. It is definitely helping with my time management too.

Sometimes I say yes when I’d rather say no but I have made a considered decision to do so rather than being forced into it. For example I have just covered some of my boss’ duties while if has been on leave I’d rather not so it but with redundancis to be made I’d rather be seen as an invaluable member of the team!

...right up. RAGHR.

There was no way I could get it done before I go on leave next week. In the past I would have just worked early/late to try and squeeze it in.

Not anymore!

I had tricky situation at work the other night when a more experienced colleague in a management position tried to ask my permission not to attend an important meeting next week. I cannot attend the meeting as I have a hospital appt and so I am submitting a report and my colleague asked if she could do the same.

I nearly said yes as it would of been easier to say ‘yeah, no problem’, but actually it is a problem – so I said ‘no, I really think you should be there’. She took it just fine and I am glad I did the right thing.

My daughter phoned from her friend’s sleepover this morning (15 mins before I was due to pick her up) to say that she wanted to go back to a different friend’s then go on to the shopping centre. She hadn’t planned it properly, she had no money with her, no means of getting home and a sleeping bag with her!

Besides I had made plans around collecting her. So I said no. It didn’t go down too well (in fact she hung the phone up on me) but it had to be said and she had calmed down by the time I arrived.

I had agreed to do something at work that it really is not my job to do. As always I went and said yes even though I am really crazily busy at the mo.

So I took a big step – I phoned that person in question and explained that it was not my role to do what she asked and I referred her back to her manager.

It went well – I don’t think I upset her and I felt great!

I am so bad at saying no – even when an experienced colleague pointed out a lot of things I am doing (and getting stressed over) that I could say no to – I got panicky over the prospects of saying no – particularly to people I normally say yes to.

I haven’t got there at work yet but I did manage to say no to my daughter when I had to yesterday. She was nagging me to go something requiring me to get up at 5am on the only day of the week I can stay in bed past 6.45am. I am really stressed out and tired at the moment and I knew one more stress was likely to push me over the edge…so I said no. She sulked and winged and tried to cajole but I stayed strong and she got over it!

Learn when to say NO to myself. Big time.

That’s not bad for someone who finds it hard to use the ‘N’ word!

Once to a work colleague who interrupted me when I was really busy. I would like to do this better next time by being more assertive and less aggressive.

Once to my daughter who wanted me to do something that I knew I just could not do today. Again I think I could improve my technique by being less defensive next time! (Next time!!!)