hug more

someone i only vaguely know gave me a big pickup hug the other day, totally unexpected and in front of people. it caught me offguard but it was great! so i have resolved to put it out to the universe that i need more pickup hugs. i am small(ish) so it’s not too much to ask for i think…

i just realized something about my most recent relationship that is now ending: we were not open when we greeted each other at first. i remember it being awkward, kind of, like we didn’t know what to do. it was sweet, though; we were just shy. we were really affectionate otherwise, but those first moments were never like HEY I’M REALLY GLAD TO SEE YOU.

that’s what a hug says! and i love it when people i don’t know too well, or maybe have only gone out with once, or maybe even feel awkward around in other ways, offer the big squishee hug. it’s so nice. it may even say ‘i forgive you, i care about you, it’s okay.’

old friends, new friends, dates, even exes…i’m going to instigate it next.

sigh

I don’t see very many people that I WANT to hug. I am alone ALOT. I do try to hug people that I don’t consider ‘huggy’ a little more than I used to, though. I used to not instigate them. I’m a little better at that now I guess. But a lot of people that I’d like to hug are far away :(

This is hard when you don’t see too many people you are really close to very often.

I feel really lonely and isolated sometimes. I am still not giving/getting enough hugs.

i was thinking about this recently. because i tend to be a closed-off person sometimes, some hugs are sort of blah and i don’t throw myself into them, especially if there’s some wierd guy/girl dynamic and i’m upset or feeling sorry for myself.

so im going to try to make a point of actually embracing back freely, and also initiating them more often. i am squishee and cuddly and i want more cuddles, more often, so i’m going to go get some!!