meet my birth family

I think, maybe I’m way off base, but, we adoptees tend to fantasize about our birth families with a romantic twist on it. I believe this as I think we need to feel like we’re not mistakes, unwanted, or different from others.
I remember very clearly creating this elaborate story when I was younger as a defensive move. (kids can be so mean) As a teen I really wanted to believe that I was the product of a couple in love (Romeo-Juliet kinda scenario).
Fact is I was a mistake, they didn’t love each other, and when I met my biological mother she felt alot of pain from a very unhappy past---me. Didn’t feel good at all!
Now, after all that I still believe that finding out is worth it.For me, I had to know!!!!!! I’m still trying to get the info from her on my birth father; she doesn’t want to talk about him. I was told by one of her sisters that it could be this one man(he’s deceased)so I did some digging and found one of his sons. I have yet to do anything with that info.
I’m really quite planted though in my beliefs——we all have the right to know out roots.