lose weight

oh how the scale messes with my psyche yet I am a slave to it. Always wishful for that “perfect reading” like a hopeless person eager to have a psychic tell them good fortune is on their way.

Letting it dictate my mood when it is not what I had wanted to see. Yet I am smart enough to know that normal daily and monthly fluctuations can cause volatile readings.

Was at 123 this morning, if I could just not weigh for a month I think I could focus more on eating healthy and portion control and not go running to the chocolate when I feel I “failed.” Yet I feel great anxiety when I don’t step on the scale. Like if I don’t do it my weight will have somehow shot up 10 pounds… alas my desperation to quiet the anxiety always wins.

Goal Weight 115

So after teetering for a couple months between 127-124 I am finally back to my 123 this morning. My body DOES NOT like going below this weight it takes very strict dieting to get below this and lose my tummy. I find that eating foods that keep my full and satisfied, i.e., healthy, are so much more expensive! My husband and I spent 900 dollars on food this month which is outrageous. Anyone else have ideas on how they eat healthy on a budget?

So I have taken a different approach to eating – instead of trying to fit all my vegetables in at dinner I make a protein shake with whey protein, flax seed, spinach, 1/2 frozen banana and unsweetened almond milk. It has a good flavor and texture and I can’t even taste the spinach, another plus is that it keeps me full for a long time. I have also started cutting up vegetables the night before so I can take them into work.

Three weeks before I go on vacation with my husband, hoping to lose at least 3 lbs.

CW: 123.4
GW: 118.00

well gained a couple of pounds after many birthday/wedding/bachelorette/bridal party celebrations. It doesn’t seem like a lot but I am shorter so it makes quite a bit of difference. I am trying not to get too down about it – even though I gained the weight I still have the knowledge of healthy eating and a good exercise routine. Now I just need to be diligent and apply everything I know. I do not want to go through my 20’s saying I was never able to reach my goal weight.

CW: 125.6
GW:115

I think I always viewed the first sign of hunger as a “symptom that needed to be cured immediately.” Even if it wasn’true hunger, but just some sort of void that needed to be filled. I don’t know why I am so afraid of that feeling of “hunger”, but I am trying to be more in tune with my body and let the true hunger pangs dictate when I should eat and just accept that a hunger pang means I need to re-fuel my body so that it can perform at its optimum.

ugh im so frustrated!! Why do I love food so much?!!? I love sugar, alcohol, and fat. I do well and get serious but then I let up and get disappointed. Its been on and off like this for years. What will it take for me to make this a lifestyle change? I always see people who have made a 180 degree change in their life and they are always like “if I can do it, you can too” and I know I have a lot of willpower in other ares of my life, but this is one I struggle with daily.

I really want to at least attempt to try a healthy lifestyle change again… here goes again…

CW: 125

119.2 today. For some reason I don’t feel as thin as I once did at this weight, wonder why? I am still happy with the progress though. I didn’t get a chance to workout yesterday, but I hope to do cardio and abs today. I did not bring a lunch to work today so I need to also figure out a healthy place to eat lunch.

119.8 today! I have not seen the teens for many many years, so this is a wonderfu feeling. I just have 4 more pounds to go and then this goal will be reached! I am having oatmeal and flax for breakfast, and greek yogurt, orange, celery w/almond butter, and a nut bar for lunch and snacks. I plan to do some cardio tonight too. I hope this weight isn’t just water weight and that is stays off!

120.8 this morning! That is the weight I was before I got married! I can’t believe how it is just coming off all of a sudden. I think it is because I have been moving and up constantly burning calories. I need to make sure not to eat too much when I’m done moving. I am determined to keep it off and not gain back weight!

I notice I hardly post when the numbers go up on the scale, I need to get better at doing that! Anyway last week I was up to 125 and this morning I was at 121.8 so that is encouraging! I am going to go to a food support group tonight so that should also motivate me to stay on track!