learn to let go

I can’t let go, because I’m to busy trying to hold on. I’m to busy trying to hold on because what I should be trying to let go of is still important to me, and I don’t want to lose it.

So… Basically I’m doomed? Maybe it’s just a gradual process that’s totally beyond me control? I don’t know. I don’t understand how it all works. I just know, that even if I think I’m somewhat stable in the letting go section of my life, it still comes down to the basic fact that every once and a while, I’m going to do a 360 and relapse into drastic withdrawal of what I once had.

I just need to let things roll of my back more often.

Or just go with the flow.

Not doing so well.

AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY!!!

GRUMP

I had a chat with one of my close friends about something I’m ready to let go of, but need to move on first, before I think I’ll ever be able.

I hope that made sense.

Well, anyhow she told me that I need to finally tell someone who I’m very close to, something that will either change my life, for a little while anyway – or change it not at all.

Either way, I agree with her, time is running out, it’s turned into a matter of months instead of years, until all of our lives are going to be drastically different than they ever have been before.

That number is about 3.5 months.

She is right!

It is time!

I think a goal I need to complete befoer I can finish a section of this goal (makes a lot of sense right?) (aka, this mean the primary thing to let go of)

is to make a list, not of the reasons why it was important to me, but reasons why I’m better off now, than I would have been otherwise.

Then of course truely believeing I’m better off.

Then I think it’ll be okay.

From my first entry about this goal… This isn’t about letting go of one thing.

Yes, that is the primary task, letting go of one very huge thing, but this goal was made for another reason too.

I need to let things go in a grand sweeping universal overarching sense. I need to stop harboring negative feelings towards aspects of my life that have been long over with. As well as little things, and objects that I’m holding onto for sentimental value, when really, it’s nonsense.

AKA: I have a big goal: the one big thing I need to let go of. Yet, I also need to let go of many other things as well.

I think for the first time in a very long time I’m starting to realize that things will be okay.

I’m not sure what sparked it, or if this feeling is going to last… But for some reason, something inside is telling me not to let it get to me anymore.

Things have changed.
People have changed.
Time has passed.

It’s still going to be hard.
It’ll be okay though.
It has to be okay.

For now.
It’s time for a new beginning-
and I have just the thing in mind.