...and now the afternoon is here, and morning is gone. I just now stumbled back onto this goal, and re-read my prior entry about another episode of time-wasting back in January.
There’s a link in that January entry to an article on conflict resolution, which I also re-read. I now realize that I had a long talk last night with a friend over a serious conflict we had recently, and how that is connected to my time-wasting today. No wonder I was tired this morning. My habitual response is to avoid conflict at all costs. I didn’t do that yesterday. I faced my conflict with my friend. It may not be resolved, but at least it’s out on the table.
There are internal conflicts involved in facing some other things that I want to do today. Maybe I can stop wasting time right now and start facing them, too.
...by this definition:
Wasting time is doing anything that does not contribute to my goals.
I was restless, irritable, and discontent with myself and my goals and my internal conflicts between wanting to make progress and not wanting to face my fears and leave my comfort zone. I spent A LOT of time mindlessly surfing on the net yesterday. I don’t remember where all I went, but by the end of the afternoon I stumbled across some great articles on conflict management. Maybe part of that information can help me face some of my own internal conflicts. Maybe I’ll have to also ask for some extra help with this. But maybe that part wasn’t quite such a waste of time after all.
EDIT: This is not an excuse, but I just remembered that part of the problem yesterday was that I did not sleep very well the night before. Hmmmm…
I’ve read lots of good articles on the internet about overcoming procrastination and getting unstuck. I’ve written some 43-T comments, and read some that I received. MamaKitty has suggested imaging that I’m surfing on top of the problem. That’s probably more useful than surfing aimlessly on the internet. :)
I want to pay some more bills, but part of me has very stubbornly been refusing to co-operate.
...and then falling asleep early in the evening was how I spent my day yesterday. I’m not sure why I did it, but it’s done now.
At some point I read an interesting series of articles about procrastination at Slate magazine (starting here). That didn’t motivate me to take any action, but it did comfort me that I was in good company.
Hope I really am done with this goal today.