Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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nicolasc has left the building. is doing 21 things including…

Stop venting to people about other people.

62 cheers


nicolasc has left the building. has written 6 entries about this goal

This week

I avoided this once (realized my urge was my stress in reaction to her stress), did not avoid this once (ugh…bad nic!!), and did so appropriately once (a concern about a coworker’s work habits that I have tried to discuss directly with her before – even though she works hard and is very well intentioned, there is a concern about it negatively impacting clients, so I spoke to our superior in a constructive way that did not degrade my coworker’s character).

Blew this today.

And not quietly enough nor privately enough. My punishment is the regret and embarrassment I feel for making an ass out of myself, because who likes to hear that $#!+?

Must remember to have more class next time.

Fell down on this today.

I was overtalking too much already today, and also feeling kinda pissy about a coworker, so I vented to another coworker who is also a good friend. Not cool. :-( This is a trait I would really like to get rid of. I found myself complaining about people to TripleB a lot this weekend, too. So, I don’t know why I am backsliding on this, but I want to stop. Like I’ve said before, it’s a filthy habit.

I vented today.

It was about one good friend to another. We’re all three very close, and have known each other since we were kids. I had a conversation with one of my friends that made me kind of mad. I did try to stick with my goal, and I talked to her directly about my feelings first. We only sort of resolved things. It would be counterproductive to reopen the conversation, and I was still stewing on it, so I called a third friend that is very close to both of us and shared my frustration with her. She pointed out a couple of things:

1) The friend I had the problem with is going through a very stressful time right now.
2) The friend I had the problem with sometimes reacts to stress by picking fights.
3) I don’t react to stress like that, so I don’t understand it and can be overly sensitive about that kind of thing, and that’s why I stew on it.
4) I really need to see that it’s about her, not me, and get over it.

I felt better after talking to her. I don’t really count this conversation as violating this goal, because I did try to talk about it with my friend directly first, and the person I chose to vent to loves us both equally and I knew she would never see the other person as a villain. That’s why I chose her to get feedback and insights. I think that was OK.

I'm getting a little better about this.

Not always. But for example, recently at work I vented to two people about a frustrating conversation with a third coworker. Afterwards I felt like crap about it. If I felt that irritated by it, enough to vent, I should tell her directly. It also reflects badly on me. I don’t want to be someone who talks behind other peoples’ backs.

It was eating away at me, so I decided the only way to resolve it would be to let her know and apologize. So I did. I said, “I owe you an apology. I was really frustrated with our conversation the other day, and instead of telling you I vented to R. and S. about it.” She was very gracious and said, “Hey, we all need to vent sometimes. No hard feelings.”

I felt a lot better afterwards. I consider myself to be an ethical person, but talking behind peoples’ backs is not very ethical. Not saying that sometimes you don’t need to vent, or get feedback from other people, or whatnot. But I don’t think I always do it as judiciously as I should. I am trying to stop myself and evaluate whether it’s an appropriate time to talk to someone else about a third person – am I really getting feedback? Have I tried to solve this issue with the person directly if possible? Or am I simply badmouthing someone?

I still do this.

Must stop. I think it’s filthy habit.

nicolasc has left the building. has gotten 62 cheers on this goal.


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