take better care of myself

follow up appt for the surgery is with my doctor tomorrow. feeling pretty good.

Surgery went off without a hitch. She was able to remove what didn’t belong and doesn’t think I have any reason for concern, but will surely contact me before the follow up if the tests show differently. Happy to have this over. Now time for recovery and getting my life back to normal.

Surgery is tomorrow. Feeling very nervous. Hope it all goes well.

I have surgery on the 19th. Not looking forward to it, but hoping this gives me the relief I need.

Doctor has figured out what my problem is. Now I have to go to a gynecologist to fix it. Endometriosis – will most likely require surgery of some sort. Appointment is next week.

Had to go to the doctor again last week. Having some more issues. Doctor ran blood tests to see if she can determine what is going on. She is thinking I may have some sort of thyroid issue. Great…

For the past 2 weeks I have been making smoothies in the morning for breakfast. I would have to say that I am really enjoying them. I prepare it before I go to bed (I use frozen fruit from Trader Joes) so all I have to do is turn on the blender and go. I’m hoping they will help to jump start my metabolism.

I’m feeling lost right now, maybe in need of a change in scenery. In a few months my life is going to have some changes. My son will graduate from high school and will possibly move out. It’s hard for me to grasp this reality. He has been my primary focus for 18 years. My job is pretty much done and he has turned out good. Now I will need to concentrate on myself. Easier said then done.

I am feeling unsatisfied in my relationship with my SO. Something has got to give. I wanted to get married – took him 9 years to ask. Now I don’t see it happening. I wanted another child – 40 is just around the corner – I don’t see it happening either (not that it would be a good plan at this point in my life anyway).

Not sure what the right answer is, but I’m trying to figure it out. Lots of soul searching right now.

Since my last entry I went to the Breast Center 2 more times. They ran more tests and determined that everything was ok. It was quite stressful and I am glad that is over for now. I will have to go back in a year for another mammogram.

I haven’t started a yoga course yet, but may try to start this up at home.

November found me back at the doctor’s office again. I started experiencing pain in my right heel on a Monday. Thought it was the shoes I was wearing (they were new, low heel wedges), but the pain got worse as the week progressed to where I could not walk by the end of the week. Middle of the week I called the foot doctor and was told it would be 2 weeks before he could squeeze me in. After a weekend of staying off my feet I called again, I was at the point of tears because I was in so much pain, and they managed to fit me in. I have a torn achilles tendon and the start of plantar faciitis. The prescription – a lovely black boot that I have been wearing since mid November. He says it is healing as quickly as it can. I am doing the exercises and hope with any luck I’ll be out of this thing in a few more weeks.

The lack of activity due to the foot injury and depression that followed caused me to put on more weight. On top of that lack of support/assistance by my SO. Weight wise I’m back to where I was before I lost all the weight. Apparently the veg diet isn’t helping with the weight loss.

Trying to find ways to improve my life. I need a little happiness.

Sigh…

I think one way I can certainly take better of myself is to reduce the stress in my life.

A friend and I talked about taking a yoga class together since we belong to the same gym so I will look into that today. That would also be a good way for me to strengthen my core muscles so hopefully I have less incidents with my lower back.

Another way would be to determine those in my life who are truly supportive and there for me in my times of need and those who are not.

I’ve had a couple of incidents over the last month or so with the SO. Things that make me think maybe he doesn’t really care so much about me and that is really painful. I’m in a spot and not sure what to do. I need some change, but I need nothing short of a financial miracle to accomplish it. Owning a house together really does complicate matters.