Be the best mom I can be

Yikes… Got his permit last week and we went driving yesterday. I have a manual transmission so it’s a little tougher for him to practice on. He did really well considering he hasn’t driven much. He even had his first drive in drivers ed and they even had him go on the highway. I am so proud of him.

My SO has given him a truck that will be his. They have been working on it together to get it road ready and it’s been a really good bonding experience for them. I suggested that my son pay a little something for it like $500 so that he can have a little ownership in it rather than just receiving it as a gift. This will also help pay for some of the parts that have been purchased. It’s a great truck for a boy – an older Chevy S10 with tinted windows. Very cool.

I still can’t believe my little boy is driving. Where does the time go?

I try really hard to be a good parent, but there are days (like yesterday) when I lose my cool.

My son stalled on his homework all night and FINALLY decided to start working on it 10 minutes before he was supposed to head to bed. I was so frustrated with him by that point that I just let him have it.

He’s currently failing 2 classes.

He’s a smart boy, just lazy. I don’t know the magic fix to motivate him. Ugh….

So today he called me at work to tell me he took care of one of the things he was supposed to. Then when I get home he apologizes for not getting his stuff done like he was supposed to and that he will get it done. I told him I would believe it when I see it because he told me that before.

I also received an email from his math teacher (one of the classes he’s failing) about how far he is actually behind and that he is willing to work with him.

I’m half tempted to tell his dad about his lack of academic achievement, but I know his dad will go off on him. A friend said that maybe that is what he needs, but I’m not so sure about it. He’ll just tune his dad out when he’s yelling at him.

Sigh…. I just don’t understand…

I love that he is comfortable with talking to me. This makes my job so much easier…

I picked my son up after his first date to the movies last night. It was good time. He was so nervous he didn’t even try to hold her hand. It sounds like there will be more though. He now has a girlfriend. :o)

I like that my son feels comfortable talking to me. I appreciate the special relationship we have and that he is comfortable with his mom. Not alot of his friends can say they can talk with their parents the way he talks with me. This makes me very happy. I know if he should ever get in a jam he will come to me.

Saturday my sweetie and I took the dogs to the river to play. My son was not interested in going so we left him home. The river we were going to was about 45 minutes from home and we had planned to drive another 30 minutes out and visit my sweeties mom at her campsite and sit around the fire after playtime at the river. This little tidbit I forgot to mention to my son. Anyway I called home to check in – still failing to mention where we were (this was about 9:00 pm). We decided to head home a little after 10:00. I had put my cell phone in the side pocket of my car. My son started calling me because he was worried about me and I wasn’t picking up. My phone must have been on silent because I didn’t hear it vibrating. Anyway we pulled into the driveway after he called for the 12th time and he was frantic, wondering where I had been. I apoligized for not letting him know where we were. I realized I errored by not letting him know where I was but still used this a lesson with him though because there have been numerous times where I have been unable to reach him on his cell or he doesn’t answer. He understood how I felt and said he would make a better effort to answer his phone.

he is a pretty good kid. There’s been alot of work along I’ve had to do along the way and most of it has been alone. His dad only pays his child support and nothing more and he stopped paying a couple times. The first time was for just a few months but the second time was after I moved into the house I purchased with my BF and lasted for a little over 2 years. He only started paying again when I threatened to turn him into support enforcement. This being said I made sure that my son had the things that he needed – new school clothes, band instrument, music lessons, school supplies, glasses, health insurance, etc., etc. There are times when things come up (like his trip to Disneyland with the school band – that cost $500 – part covered by scholarship) and I ask his dad to pitch in and he says oh no can’t afford it. So I do it on my own rather than tell my son he can’t go. Well, thinking like this has gotten me into a mountain of debt.

So that brings me to my original reason for this post. My son is always losing things. He’s lost 2 ipods (1 a gift from me for good grades the other a gift from grandpa for Christmas last year), numerous jackets, CD’s, he lost a check I wrote out to his band teacher for the Disneyland trip. I had to stop pay the check and write out a new one. Now he lost a $200 pair of glasses. He needs them to see the board at school. He made a big deal last year about how his last pair got broken (he left them on the floor in his room and our dog used them as a chew toy) and he was eligible for a new pair under my insurance so I let him go the appt. and pick them out by himself and all that. I thought that would help with the responsibility. It didn’t though. I just found out that he managed to lose them a month into the school year and it will be 2 years before my insurance will pay for a new pair. I told him I will not pay for a new pair. He will need to either use money from his birthday next month to buy a new pair or get a job when he is 16 (next month) and buy them and that he has to be more responsible. Am I being to harsh? I don’t think so. I just can’t afford these kind of things.

My son is really changing and I am not liking it one bit. He challenges every request I make to him and everything I say to him. It a constant battle to get him to do his homework because he feels this is the only thing he has control over and chooses not to do it. Since he is failing a class again, I have taken his computer away. The next thing to go is the tv.

My son has always been a pretty good kid. Over the last few months he has changed. I am not sure if it is all the hormones or what it is. He has a short fuse and picks fights with me. He lies about his homework or only does part of the assignment and tells me it is completed.

His father has anger management issues but we split up 9 years ago and he only sees his dad about once a month. I never talk badly about his dad and try and encourage a relationship between them as much as possible. We both feel as though he is pushing us away.

I am at wits end because arguing with him does no good. It’s getting old and I want it all to stop.

I really love my son and want to raise him the best I possibly can.