control my temper

This morning my son informed me he misplaced another check. I had written him 2 checks last week for school stuff. All he was supposed to do was turn them into the ASB office at lunch time. He has had 4 lunch periods now to do this. Each day he has chosen to socialize with his friends instead of turning the checks in. I don’t have a problem with that. I want him to visit with his friends, but I also want him to take care of his responsibilities. He says he thinks the check may have fallen out of his pocket in his room – he’s not sure though. I told him if he cannot find it I will have to issue a stop pay in it which will cost me and reissue the check. I took the other one from him so he wouldn’t lose that one too.

If he didn’t have a habit of losing things (2 ipods, 2 wallets, glasses, many jackets, music for band, 2 checks…. the list could go on for a while) I wouldn’t be ranting, but I have just had it with him. I told him he needs to be more responsible. He is going to be 17 in 2 months. You’d think he could hold onto his stuff.

ok, I feel better now…

And even through all the crap I have maintain composure and kept my temper in check. I’m wondering though if that may have not been the best way to handle things. Maybe I should have allowed myself a major meltdown to let those around me know I am at my limit.

Work has been beyond ridiculous, in fact I am going in this weekend so I can get something done without an interuption every 10 minutes. I’ve got people pulling me in too many different directions.

Home isn’t much better. I’m having second thoughts about choices I have made for my future. I’m not getting the support I need and it really is taking its toll on me.

My son has been back talking more than usual. I expect it, he’s at the age. He’s trying to find his place in the world and all that.

I’m just not sure what to do anymore, but what I do know is a need to do something and I need to do it soon. I cannot continue doing this for much longer.